lonleme

Had a discussion with my wife and asked her if she want so talk on the path of restoring this marriage or not ... she said that she didn't that this marriage was over the ( she said six months after we were married( new to me)) may just be anger... But here we are...

Now this is an extremely complicated situation (arent they all) but I guess I need to get a lawyer..... I am crushed , and truly I give up.

I cannot support my self, as I became ill after we got married, and I have gotten better but lost my career and had to go back to school to start a new career I still have 3 more years to go until I am finished, but she has been putting me through school, now what do I do? does she have to pay still for me to go to school... Oh yeah and there is the idea of two children one with special needs..... and I am the only one that has been dealing with the do cots and schools for the special needs children.

is there an abyss that I can crawl into?

mommy2madi

I am so sorry, and I know how you feel. My husband just told me he was never sure I was right for him, and he has been unhappy with me for a long time.

The only thing I can say is do some research on alimony in your state. Each state has different laws and formulas to calculate what she would have to pay you, and for how long. She was the person financially supporting your family, so she will most likely have to pay something for a few years.

EleGirl

First.. you should keep your story in one thread instead of starting new ones. That way a reader can read up on what you are going through.


How long have you been married and what state do you live in. Those are the first questions that need to be answered.

__________________
Surviving An Affair - What Are Plan A and Plan B? 180 for Betrayed Spouses


To Create A Passionate Marriage - Five Steps to Romantic Love His Needs, Her Needs Love Busters

lonleme

10 years PA

EleGirl

Ok there are issues of long term marriage and your need to finish your education to be able to get a job.

You are also the primary care giver to your children. Thus you should have primary custody. This is especially true since your wife travels for her job a lot.

You should be able to ask for 50% of all community assets, child support and enough spousal support to complete your education. Also be aware that you might qualify for pell grants and other finanical aid if this is your first BS/BA.

I suggest you seen an attorney as soon as possible to find out what your rights are. Tell them what you want... the things I discussed above.

You might want to go ahead and file for divorce since it's in your best interest to secure an income so you can finish school.


Divorce Support - Pennsylvania Divorce Laws

__________________
Surviving An Affair - What Are Plan A and Plan B? 180 for Betrayed Spouses


To Create A Passionate Marriage - Five Steps to Romantic Love His Needs, Her Needs Love Busters

EleGirl

Also, under no circumstances do you move out of the family home and leave your children. She is the one who refuses to work on the marriage. If she tries to kick you out, see your attorney. She cannot kick you out of the marital home.... not till there is a court order. YOu cannot kick her out either.

__________________
Surviving An Affair - What Are Plan A and Plan B? 180 for Betrayed Spouses


To Create A Passionate Marriage - Five Steps to Romantic Love His Needs, Her Needs Love Busters

lonleme

wow 10% that is all...... ouch why would it be 50%?

EleGirl

Ouch, did I say 10%? I meant 50%. Thanks for correcting me.

__________________
Surviving An Affair - What Are Plan A and Plan B? 180 for Betrayed Spouses


To Create A Passionate Marriage - Five Steps to Romantic Love His Needs, Her Needs Love Busters

lonleme

well thought I would up date you guys, Looks like what I say is heard sometimes... We are actually looking into the smalley institute for a marriage intensive... which is what I suggested..... hope it helps

luckycardinal

I hope that the counseling works for you. It's rough that you became ill and lost your career and I imagine how hard it can be to deal with a special needs child. As a wife who has supported my husband for the past 5 years of our 10 year marriage (he is abusive though and doesn't work by CHOICE (it doesn't sound like you fit either of these descriptions), I can give you a little perspective of how she feels that might help you as you try to restore your marriage. She is exhausted from trying to take care of the whole family. She feels pressure to keep her job and excel at it so she can get raises. She feels like everyone is depending on her and she doesn't want to let them down, but it is so tiring to feel like you're doing it all alone. Do you let her know you appreciate her? Do you help out with the house/cooking, etc.? I know you said you take your child to the doctor's and school - that is great. Even if I had an ideal husband but still had to support the family alone, it would be tiring and scary for me. Maybe she feels the same way. I wish you two the best; hope you can patch things up.

JeremyFinn

Do you really trust that God can help you or did you just say His name in vain? Because He can and He want's to. Not many really give good advice in this world but here you can find the answer if you want your spouse back :

WELCOME - Rejoice Marriage Ministries

Seek Him and don't take advice from anyone who doesn't believe in Him. There is so little faith in people. There is power in the blood of the Lamb.

Bless you in your hard times (read psalms) and suffering with you,

JeremyFinn