Thank you all for your time and responses, it is most helpful to have other input. Most of you had very kind hearted responses for which I am grateful. As for the last post- It is unkind to attack someones spirituality, please try to be more considerate and accepting of others beliefs.
God bless you all.
I totally agree. I am not very religious, if at all, but I read that post and thought - oh good grief, she said she's a strong Christian, how is that commentary helpful?
However, it did make me think... You prayed for him to come back, and he did. But that doesn't necessarily mean that was God's final answer to your prayer. I believe we have a lot to learn in this lifetime. When you prayed to have him back, I assume you wanted him back the way he was when you loved him so before the drugs and alcohol. Maybe your love was too young and naive and blind originally, or maybe he's back but he's no longer the man you prayed to have back. Maybe God brought him back so you could see how strong and happy you were in comparison without him, and truly let him go. Maybe God wants you H to learn a life lesson about empathy and using other people. Maybe God wants you to learn a lesson about respecting yourself and not allowing others to hurt you, or your son. Maybe God wants you to find the strength in yourself to do what's best for you son.
I don't know. But just because you prayed that he come back and he did does not necessarily mean that is the end of the journey.
If you do stay with him, you must do something to make your marriage better. I'm a big advocate for the stuff at marriagebuilders.com for saving marriages and learning how to be a good spouse and expect reasonable treatment from your spouse. (They are Christian based, too.) It's possible your H is just a scared, selfish ass (most addicts are), but if he truly wants to keep you and you set standards, he will have no choice but to rise to the occasion or not. You need to learn how to set those standards. He begged to have you back and now he's dictating your life. Slowing killing you with unloving behavior.
Have you considered moving to Hawaii without him? Another trial separation... Can you do that legally with a son?
I know God does not like divorce or giving up, but it goes both ways. Your H may claim to be a faithful Christian, but his treatment of you does not match the marriage vows. It's not like YOU are the one giving up. He's just having his cake and eating it too while you whither away.