15yrs of marriage and I not for sure what to do.

ConfusedInd · 02-12-2012, 07:06 PM

Hi. I am new to the site and I am looking for advice. My wife and I will be married for 15 years in a few months and I am not for sure what I need to do.
What do you do when you are no longer physically attracted to your wife? Over the last 2 years, I started to lose quite a bit of weight and my wife has just given up with the weight loss. I am not happy in the relationship and my wife is extremely insecure about her and accuses me of flirting with every girl out there. Before any post anything about her cheating, I don’t believe that is a concern. Just this last weekend I told her that we needed to take a break for the week to see if we can figure things out. She left this last weekend and stayed with her parents and I am still sitting here at the house. I am torn right now because I am on the verge of calling it over. We have been through this over the last few years quite a few times and it seems like things get better for a week or a month then I slump right back into being unhappy.
I don’t know if I did the right thing by asking her to go to her parents for the week so she had time to think about our last conversation about me being so unhappy. I figured that it would be unfair for me to expect an answer on what we should do with only one evening to think about it since I have been thinking about this for 6 months. I am not for sure what to do, but I am really considering divorce even though I really don’t want that (I think?).
Thanks for any advice you can give me.

LJAO · 02-12-2012, 07:26 PM

Have you tried counseling ? And telling her exactly how you feel?
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ConfusedInd · 02-12-2012, 07:37 PM

We have not tried counseling and neither of us are really big into doing MC. We have had multiple discussions over the last few years and have tried a ton of different things. The problem that I run into is things start to get better for a week or a month and then I start feeling the same thing over again.

MSP · 02-12-2012, 08:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ConfusedInd

The problem that I run into is things start to get better for a week or a month and then I start feeling the same thing over again.

Feeling what things? Is it mostly to do with her weight?

ConfusedInd · 02-12-2012, 08:38 PM

I have been thinking about that for awhile now. I think the weight has quite a bit to do with it. When I first started to lose my weight she was also losing the weight. I never stopped losing weight and started to go back to the gym and she just gave up and is now heavier then she has ever been. I know it sounds a little shallow, but at our age there should still be a little bit of physical attraction, right?

accept · 02-13-2012, 03:32 AM

You will need counselling.