15yrs of marriage and I not for sure what to do.
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Old 02-12-2012, 07:06 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default 15yrs of marriage and I not for sure what to do.

Hi. I am new to the site and I am looking for advice. My wife and I will be married for 15 years in a few months and I am not for sure what I need to do.
What do you do when you are no longer physically attracted to your wife? Over the last 2 years, I started to lose quite a bit of weight and my wife has just given up with the weight loss. I am not happy in the relationship and my wife is extremely insecure about her and accuses me of flirting with every girl out there. Before any post anything about her cheating, I donít believe that is a concern. Just this last weekend I told her that we needed to take a break for the week to see if we can figure things out. She left this last weekend and stayed with her parents and I am still sitting here at the house. I am torn right now because I am on the verge of calling it over. We have been through this over the last few years quite a few times and it seems like things get better for a week or a month then I slump right back into being unhappy.
I donít know if I did the right thing by asking her to go to her parents for the week so she had time to think about our last conversation about me being so unhappy. I figured that it would be unfair for me to expect an answer on what we should do with only one evening to think about it since I have been thinking about this for 6 months. I am not for sure what to do, but I am really considering divorce even though I really donít want that (I think?).
Thanks for any advice you can give me.
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Old 02-12-2012, 07:26 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: 15yrs of marriage and I not for sure what to do.

Have you tried counseling ? And telling her exactly how you feel?
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Old 02-12-2012, 07:37 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: 15yrs of marriage and I not for sure what to do.

We have not tried counseling and neither of us are really big into doing MC. We have had multiple discussions over the last few years and have tried a ton of different things. The problem that I run into is things start to get better for a week or a month and then I start feeling the same thing over again.
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Old 02-12-2012, 08:35 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: 15yrs of marriage and I not for sure what to do.

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Originally Posted by ConfusedInd View Post
The problem that I run into is things start to get better for a week or a month and then I start feeling the same thing over again.
Feeling what things? Is it mostly to do with her weight?
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Old 02-12-2012, 08:38 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: 15yrs of marriage and I not for sure what to do.

I have been thinking about that for awhile now. I think the weight has quite a bit to do with it. When I first started to lose my weight she was also losing the weight. I never stopped losing weight and started to go back to the gym and she just gave up and is now heavier then she has ever been. I know it sounds a little shallow, but at our age there should still be a little bit of physical attraction, right?
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Old 02-13-2012, 03:32 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: 15yrs of marriage and I not for sure what to do.

You will need counselling.
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