mandmmom

Hi all. this is my second post here and from reading the other posts there seems to be a lot of insightful people on here and I just want an objective opinion.

I have been married for 5 years but we've been together on and off since I was 16 and he was 17. I came from a somewhat unstable envrionment- mom was emotionally abusive to some extent and never really there for us emotionally and still isn't to this day. My husband seems to want to make me resentful of this instead of just accepting and understanding that she cannot give us what we need or be the mom that we need her to be. It is a sore spot for me and it just seems to aggravate it. He says it just makes him mad that she has hurt me but if he really cared about me I feel like he would try to help me through it instead or re-hashing it and making an issue of it.

He is very insecure as am I. But it goes as far as to think I am ignoring him at weddings he has been to for my family wihich is actually insane and really paranoid because my family has been nothing but nice to him from day1. Although I can't say the same for his family- particularly his mom towards me.

I guess I just feel guilty for wanting to see if there were someone out there better for me who could make me happier or at least not as miserable. I feel like I settled for him sometimes because he did whatever I told him to and loved me unconditionally. But I think now there is resentment which is not outright but comes out in other ways like giving me the silent treatment and not caling me unless I threaten an affair or a divorce. Soemtimes I think we would both be happier if we werent together. And if I treat him as bady as he seems to think I do he would be much happier with someone else. I am mean to him sometimes but I don't realize I'm doing it. And obviously I don't want to be mean to anyone. I wish he would just divorce me sometimes and make it an easy decision. But I have no self confidence and feel like I would never meet anyone and spend the rest of my life loney and dejected and missing him.

sorry this turned out to be so long. I know I probably shouldn't be complaining but i just feel like I *wasted* so many years with him. And I do fee horrible saying this. But I am just so overwhelmingly sad thinking of what I have missed out on. I am almost 36 now and wish I could turn back the clock and experience things I was too scared to before.

thanks for listening and sorry if none of this made any sense.

Michelle

MrsVain

Okay, so i am confused. He does everything you tell him and loves you unconditionally, he tries to stick up for you from the bad treatment you get or got from your mom. and you want to leave him why?.......

Please give us more information, there is not much for us to know the reason you feel like you wasted your life on him or why you feel you are missing out.