not sure where i stand - Page 2 - Talk About Marriage
Considering Divorce or Separation If you're considering divorce or separation, this is the place to talk.

User Tag List

 9Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
post #16 of 43 (permalink) Old 04-02-2017, 06:07 PM Thread Starter
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: ohio
Posts: 304
Re: not sure where i stand

Not sure how this got back on- I didn't post it again

bremik is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #17 of 43 (permalink) Old 04-02-2017, 06:17 PM
Member
 
stixx's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 261
Re: not sure where i stand

It never left.
stixx is offline  
post #18 of 43 (permalink) Old 04-02-2017, 06:22 PM Thread Starter
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: ohio
Posts: 304
Re: not sure where i stand

Quote:
Originally Posted by stixx View Post
It never left.
That's no lie
bremik is offline  
 
post #19 of 43 (permalink) Old 04-02-2017, 06:23 PM
Member
 
stixx's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 261
Re: not sure where i stand

Of course not. Why would I lie about your thread never leaving?
stixx is offline  
post #20 of 43 (permalink) Old 04-02-2017, 06:26 PM Thread Starter
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: ohio
Posts: 304
Re: not sure where i stand

Quote:
Originally Posted by stixx View Post
Of course not. Why would I lie about your thread never leaving?
I was mocking my situation not your comment
bremik is offline  
post #21 of 43 (permalink) Old 04-02-2017, 06:31 PM
Member
 
stixx's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 261
Re: not sure where i stand

Don't mock yourself, you've done plenty to make yourself miserable.

It's time to turn this ship around.

But let's start by pushing your wife over the railing.
stixx is offline  
post #22 of 43 (permalink) Old 04-02-2017, 06:32 PM
Banned
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 6,304
Re: not sure where i stand

Quote:
Originally Posted by stixx View Post
He didn't post anything about her cheating.

She was perhaps a bit inappropriate with some of her coworkers in terms of what she talked about but that's it.

Well short of cheating.


Browse his other threads. Lol.
225985 is offline  
post #23 of 43 (permalink) Old 04-02-2017, 06:33 PM
Member
 
stixx's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 261
Re: not sure where i stand

I read his other threads. Most of them anyway.

I read where she's got boundary issues and she flirts with other guys and messaged one guy in particular for at least a year.

I read nothing that proved cheating.

Did I miss a post of his where he said she was, beyond the shadow of a doubt?

@bremik

Did you ever find definitive proof of an affair?
stixx is offline  
post #24 of 43 (permalink) Old 04-02-2017, 06:42 PM Thread Starter
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: ohio
Posts: 304
Re: not sure where i stand

Quote:
Originally Posted by stixx View Post
I read his other threads. Most of them anyway.

I read where she's got boundary issues and she flirts with other guys and messaged one guy in particular for at least a year.

I read nothing that proved cheating.

Did I miss a post of his where he said she was, beyond the shadow of a doubt?

@bremik

Did you ever find definitive proof of an affair?
No- hence the reason I am still here. Her biggest trouble is the lying and omission of facts when it comes to these problems. Jay was supposed to be completely out of the picture mostly due to job change and she had to change her ph number when she left last job. I had no idea they had been contacting each other. He and I despise each other and she knows it.

When she spent significant time trying to convince me yesterday that she is trying very hard to be transparent and honest it kind of fell apart after I found those messages. There is more but the core of it is- how did he get her new number? How did he know what she was doing? How far back has this been going on? She is well aware of my feelings for him. She was told at one point long ago it was me or him- you might get an idea of how that has gone
bremik is offline  
post #25 of 43 (permalink) Old 04-02-2017, 06:52 PM
Member
 
stixx's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 261
Re: not sure where i stand

As far as Jay goes- could be they've just become close friends, you have no evidence to the contrary.

But like you said, that almost doesn't matter. Their continued friendship was a dealbreaker and you told her as much, until of course it became apparent that the friendship continued, and it was no longer a dealbreaker for you because you lost your testicles somewhere along the way. She won't respect you for allowing her to continue the friendship with Jay after you told her you wouldn't tolerate it. Once that happened, she became aware that you weren't worthy of the truth, whatever it might be. I know it's a twisted way of thinking but that's what they do.

stixx is offline  
post #26 of 43 (permalink) Old 04-02-2017, 07:03 PM Thread Starter
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: ohio
Posts: 304
Re: not sure where i stand

Quote:
Originally Posted by stixx View Post
As far as Jay goes- could be they've just become close friends, you have no evidence to the contrary.

But like you said, that almost doesn't matter. Their continued friendship was a dealbreaker and you told her as much, until of course it became apparent that the friendship continued, and it was no longer a dealbreaker for you because you lost your testicles somewhere along the way. She won't respect you for allowing her to continue the friendship with Jay after you told her you wouldn't tolerate it. Once that happened, she became aware that you weren't worthy of the truth, whatever it might be. I know it's a twisted way of thinking but that's what they do.
Any friend that encourages a person to ignore their spouse and continually go against their spouse is no friend to the marriage. Jay was the one talking on the nasty phone message. My wife spent the night at jays drunk with neither one calling to tell me where she was- when she was in school. He has made a habit of getting her to do things if he knew I didn't want her to. And yes - both I and the counselor we saw a few years ago have considered jay a cancer to the marriage that she didn't need to have contact with anymore. She has assured me multiple times over the last couple of years that she had no contact with jay- I even let my guard down because I began to believe it. She messed up more because she actually had to contact him last week because of her job and made a point of telling me because she wanted to be transparent- just forgot to mention she had been contacting him for quite some time now
bremik is offline  
post #27 of 43 (permalink) Old 04-02-2017, 07:20 PM
Member
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: central US, not unicorn fantasy land
Posts: 1,310
Re: not sure where i stand

So when is she moving out?

Tell her to not bother to come home.

She can stay at Jays.

Be sure to keep copies of the messages.

And expose and expose.

Tell her work. and file for D.

Last edited by harrybrown; 04-02-2017 at 07:22 PM. Reason: edit
harrybrown is offline  
post #28 of 43 (permalink) Old 04-02-2017, 07:33 PM
Member
 
stixx's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 261
Re: not sure where i stand

Quote:
Originally Posted by bremik View Post
My wife spent the night at jays drunk with neither one calling to tell me where she was- when she was in school.
She was drunk and SPENT THE NIGHT AT HIS HOUSE?

Dude she's screwing him.

That's all the evidence you need.

You need to be somewhere else in your life right about now.
stixx is offline  
post #29 of 43 (permalink) Old 04-02-2017, 07:47 PM
Member
 
Marc878's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Southeast
Posts: 3,383
Re: not sure where i stand

Quote:
Originally Posted by stixx View Post
As far as Jay goes- could be they've just become close friends, you have no evidence to the contrary.

But like you said, that almost doesn't matter. Their continued friendship was a dealbreaker and you told her as much, until of course it became apparent that the friendship continued, and it was no longer a dealbreaker for you because you lost your testicles somewhere along the way. She won't respect you for allowing her to continue the friendship with Jay after you told her you wouldn't tolerate it. Once that happened, she became aware that you weren't worthy of the truth, whatever it might be. I know it's a twisted way of thinking but that's what they do.
Only if you're very naive. An emotional affair with contact is almost always physical. Especially when they hide and are secretive with continued contact, switching his phone number, giving him a fake name, etc, etc, etc.

OP read back on your old posts pretend this is your brother or a close friend what would you think or advise?
Marc878 is offline  
post #30 of 43 (permalink) Old 04-02-2017, 07:49 PM
Member
 
Marc878's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Southeast
Posts: 3,383
Re: not sure where i stand

Quote:
Originally Posted by stixx View Post
She was drunk and SPENT THE NIGHT AT HIS HOUSE?

Dude she's screwing him.

That's all the evidence you need.

You need to be somewhere else in your life right about now.
He's wallowed in this for years I suspect another thread in the year 2020.
Marc878 is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Should he stand by me? beanntony General Relationship Discussion 8 12-09-2014 10:13 AM
Im at a stand still. Please help dc366 General Relationship Discussion 6 05-31-2011 10:49 AM
Need to stand up for myself isfplady Financial Problems in Marriage 12 04-19-2011 12:51 PM
Need to know where we stand unloved Sex in Marriage 5 10-01-2010 11:20 PM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome