I'm sorry I don't know what "NC" and "OM" mean..
It hasn't even been a year. I am not being unfaithful! I am not acting on my thoughts. Other than the fact that I enjoy my coworkers company at work, I am not doing anything else. As far as the coworker knows I am "unaware" of his desires and I am just being "friendly" with him. I don't complain to him about my husband. I am not directly trying to show him any sexual interest. I do want to rip his shirt off at times, but I also haven't had sex with my husband in 2 weeks so...yeah
NC = No Contact
OM = Other Man
Once we get into an EA which I believe you are from your explanation we are acting under the influence of the brain chemicals Dopamine and Oxytocin. Think of Oxytocin as the comfortable chemical. We have this with close friends and relatives. Dopamine is the In Love chemical. This chemcial usually is brought about in large quantity by one person at a time. However it can shift in an unstable state. A confused state.
Anyway, until I went NC and got through withdrawal I was convinced we were just close friends. Once the fog of the chemicals cleared I realized I was wrong. People in EAs generally believe in the erarly stages they are just friends. Then they accept that we love our close friends. This evolves.
My definitions below:
Inappropriate -> Unfaithful -> Cheating.
Inappropriate is taking risks. You are not actively hiding anything. There is no unfaithful thoughts or actions. But you are putting yourself in a gray area.
Unfaithful begins when you are doing or thinking things that your spouse would not consider entirely faithful. Now we hate the thought police of course but it starts when you fantasize about this other person. When we do this we program our future behaviors. We are slowly allowing ourselves to fall in love with another. Our boundaires slide. Trust me this guy knows you are into him. You light up with him. You have started to enter the unfaithful area. To be faithful you would now need to cut this guy out of your life. You cannot play just the tip with this stuff. It is like saying I can quit cocain anytime I want, I just don't want to now. Maybe tomorrow. You already said you were thinking you wished you were single. You are preparing yourself for the next steps. This guy is getting the vibe if you are thinking this.
Do you dress better when you know you will see him? Do you like going to work because he will be there? Do you miss him? You and this guy are bonding .... emotionally which prepares the road for the physical actions.
Anyway, once you are deep into unfaithful which is where you are headed unless you change the momentum somehow the rest is just playing it out.
I am not critisizing you. I am trying to say HEY!!! you are on the edge. Don't take another step. You will fall and hurt your marriage.