04-22-2012, 12:03 PM
Join Date: Jan 2012
| | Divorcing a mentally unstable wife?
As the thread's title explains, I'm looking for advice on the best way to tell my wife that I want a divorce. She has numerous mental health issues including: anger problems; OCD; hearing voices/seeing visions of causing me serious physical harm; seeing hallucinations. Last year, she has also hit me on two different occasions. I have been trying to hold our marriage together for almost two years and have gone with her to many different medical appointments, but I simply can't take it anymore. What makes things harder is that my wife has been somewhat better over the past three months, clearly loves me and will quite possibly want to end her life when she finds out my intentions (she has attempted suicide in her past). She is distraught with herself for hurting me in the past and will blame herself for everything. Unfortunately, I can't keep 'taking her back' and pretending everything's ok. I feel that a line had been crossed when she hit me, and for my own health, safety, and sanity I must leave. My question is how?
Talking with her alone is out of the question as I fear that she might seek to harm herself, and perhaps me too. Because of this, I've planned to tell her next week when she's visiting her family for a couple of days: this way she'll have a network of support around her who can help care for her. I planned on telling her over the phone/Skype, but fear this may not be best for her. I've been advised that I could turn up at her parents' house, tell her, and then leave with a friend, but I think this will seem just as out of the blue and shocking to her as talking on the phone. Moreover, her parents are conservative Christians and view divorce as a cardinal sin: I imagine they'll be unhelpful at best and confrontational at worst.
Any advice will be gladly received.