Re: The power of sex
my guess is, he interprets you having sex with him, as equating to everything's fine now. Yes, some men think this way. Notice I said Some! ;-) He probly figures you wouldn't have sex with him if you were still upset, or wanted to leave. It could also be that he just wants to keep the peace for a little while, just so there isn't any arguing. But to answer your question, no, having sex won't fix all this, it's still there, and the issues between you, no matter how many , are still there.
But, it is nice that you two could connect on a physical level again. Even if it was just for pure pleasure and not an emotional connection as well. It's a starting point. But you will have to be honest with him and let him know that you want to fix your marriage.
Try going a few days, and try your best not to argue, or bring up things that are hurting you. Just keep the peace for a little while between the two of you. Maybe even make love again if you're up for it.
then, take him out for coffee, or to a pretty park for a walk, my hubby adn I always enjoy long talks in the park, while we walk, or on our back deck at night when the kids are asleep. Just be non-confrontational, and let him know you love him, but that you have some things , and you're sure he does too, that you want so much to be worked out, and okay again....
Tell him you would like some therapy, for you both together, and individually. Just let him know how you feel. Don't get into an argument about the porn though, as that's not the main issue when you're trying to get him to work with you. Getting hiim to work with you is the issue. You can address the specifics at a therapy session. If he is willing.
I hope this helps, I know you're probably very confused and hurt.