Originally Posted by working_together View Post
You're right, you're not the only person to go through this type of thing. It sounds very much like you're having a mid life crisis. Maybe you aren't happy with your life right now, questioning whether there is more out there, is the grass greener on the other side.
I'd like to hear more about your lack of guilt and how you deal with what you've done to your husband...how is he handling it???
He is being wonderful and we are talking things through daily.
The problem with a message board such as this is that no matter how much of your story you tell, there is always more to it. My husband said something tonight that struck such a chord with both of us, we were rendered speechless and had to just go away from each other to digest.
A little piece of the puzzle...we had a third child, who was an unexpected pregnancy. Without family in the area and not much of a support system, we were already pushed to the limit with two kids. But even though I am very much pro-choice, I felt like we didn't have a choice here...we were parents, we knew how to be parents and we were financially stable enough to handle it. I didn't feel I could live with myself if we aborted.
So we didn't. And he's been harboring resentment about this for several years. Because she's a tough kid and she pushes us to our stress levels all the time. She has some minor developmental delays that manifest themselves as behavioral issues (working with Early Intervention on those). But it's been really, really hard and there has been an undercurrent from him, for several years, of "Well, this was your choice, you have to deal with it".
He spoke about that tonight, of realizing that the expectations he's put on me to handle her and to "suck it up" when it's been hard, have really damaged us.
I cried so hard I could barely breath. I am still cryiing now.l