Husband refuses to leave
I can't even believe that I'm here. I have been married to my husband for 13 years, together for 18, more than 1/2 of my life. We have 3 children together. We have had a rough couple of years. I found out a few years ago that he was having an EA with a girl from work. He refused to end it and said it was just to help her out, blah blah. He finally did when I took the kids and left for 2 days. After that, things were still rough but no affairs. Fast forward to 2 months ago. My mom has terminal cancer and I am planning her funeral, looking at headstones, talking to lawyers, you know, enjoyable things. I told him I felt like my best friend wasn't here when I needed him because he was pulling away. He said, No, I'm here. He wasn't. On our Anniversary he slept almost all day and before work (he works 3rd shift) he gave me a letter and a kiss and left. The letter basically said how unhappy he was and honestly was a bunch on stuff that he didn't like that I was doing but he could have just talked to me about. So, I fixed everything immediately (just simple things like even though the laundry was washed, dried, folded, it sometimes was still in baskets bc he was asleep so I couldn't put it away and that bothers him, he wants it in his drawers, he didn't like how I did the bills, etc.). Keep in mind that we have huge projects around the house that he will start and never finish and I never bug him about. Anyway, at this point we haven't had sex for 3 months. After the letter, he didn't speak to me for 2 solid weeks. Not one word. Then he went out with a friend one night to play poker and didn't come home till noon the next day....after I called him multilple times and woke him up. Found out the next weekend that not only did that friend not go with him, there was no poker party. The whole thing was a massive, elaborate lie. He even went so far as to give me a $100 bill and told me he won it playing pool. Then when I questioned him on everything he was yelling at me telling me to call these other people if I didn't believe him and that he won it playing pool. Surprise! I don't believe you. Anyway, so every other weekend now he has been going out and not coming home until 4:30 or 6:15 in the morning and tells me he doesn't understand what the problem is. He finally admitted to the MC (which we started after the first night out) that he does this to tick me off and basically it's a game to him (my words). There's a lot more but that's the basis. I don't want to be divorced or even seperated but at this point the MC has tried talking to him along with friends and me. No one is able to get through to him. I have NO idea who this man is. I'm not sure if this is a mid-life crisis or what. He actually said that he works 16 hours a day (no, he doesn't) and has nothing to show for it. Everytime the MC tries to give him a parallel example of his behavior to get through to him it's like he has a Superman personality- like "I'm above all that, I won't/ don't make mistakes other people do". The MC really went after him yesterday several times and told him that every week he expects it's the week that the hubby will finally admit he's having an affair. So, I think he needs a shock to his system and needs to go so that he can clear his mind and realize how good he has it and what he's about to lose and work on us. I asked for a seperation and he ignored me so I packed his bags today. He came home and ate, watched tv and took a nap. So, before the kids came home, I took everything out to the car so they wouldn't see them and he went right behind me and brought them back in. My plan is to take them into his work tomorrow morning and leave them in the car. I think he thinks I'm too weak to follow through or that I'm not serious since I've always allowed him to get away with so much. Any suggestions?