Gberg

So...quick bit of background...My wife and I have been on shaky ground for about 3 months now...been married 2 years...she left on vacation to visit family with our 2 children, one 10 one almost 6 months...was supposed to be 2 weeks turned into a month and a half after a fight...

She came home and it has been up and down for almost amonth now...There is no cheating involved...but she tells me she doesnt want to be with me and yesterday told me she doesnt love me anymore while i was at work...when i got home she acted as if nothing was wrong. i think she has postpartum, but will never say anything to her it has to come from a doctor. We have started to see a counselor, but he has been on vaction for 2 of the 3 weeks she has been home.

Anyway...onto my question. While she told me she doesnt love me anymore...at night (we still sleep in same bed) she will sometimes hold my hand or cuddle up on me. Last night she cuddled, kissed me and held my hand for almost the whole night...this is AFTER telling me she didnt love me anymore earlier in the day.

So what does it mean when a your wife is cuddling, holding hands or kissing you while sleeping? She knows its me there...im confused.

I can fill in more details if asked...

thank you for any responses in advance!!

DanglingDaisy

I don't blame you for being confused. She's saying one thing and doing another.

The questions you need to ask her is when and what has led to her feelings of not loving you any more? If she's brave enough to tell you(and you don't feel she's hiding anything else),ask her why you should stay with someone who doesn't love you?

Gberg

So do you think i should ask he about her sleeping habits? or will that stop it from happening...i just dont get it i guess

fallensoldier

Were you two in some kind of fight when she said that? Women say things they don't mean when angry. Then we feel like crap about it after calming down. Maybe the holding hands, kissing and cuddling was her way of saying "I'm sorry"

Gberg

I hope you are right...we were arguing because she just got back from California and now wants to go back to California next month with our 2 kids again for an unspecified amount of time again....I was against it because being away from my 2 kids for a month and a half was the worst thing i ever went through and i dont want to do it again...especially so soon...

So...it could have been that...She was perfectly normal like nothing was wrong when I got home...so maybe my assertiveness in telling her i was against the idea instead of just backing down as i had been made her feel like i wasnt being a doormat? who knows

Thank you for the positive insight though...anything else you may see would be greatly appreciated!

fallensoldier

No need for thanks - its what we're all here for
Can I ask, and I don't mean to come off as nosy, but what's the purpose of her trip to California once again so soon?

keko

You said no cheating but that right there sounds like one. She had some incredible fun there but upon returning to boring you she wants to go back yet again. Check her texts/call logs/emails ASAP.

Gberg

its cheating...shes cheating...maybe not sexually but emotionally...told another guy she was in love with them...she wont explain it to me...devastated...dont know where to go from here

keko

Im sorry. Contact a lawyer and see if cheating will help you in divorce.

Can you find out who the other guy is? Is he married? Try to find this out before she goes back and you might be able to kill the affair.