In one word = "CONFUSED". Married for 23 years and have slowly grown apart, haven't frenched kissed in more than a year, no more passion. My marriage has become a routine. Wake up, kids to school, to work and then home. She likes doing her things and I do mine. She doesn't like doing what I like and I am not really into what she likes. I cannot think of 2 things we like doing together except for the occasional dinner and then the conversations are about the same things. Sometimes I feel that conversations are all about her and how great things are for her. Nothing really new (hear it all the time), much less: exciting. No fire... no heat..... Intimacy is non-existent. Sometimes I think how could I have missed so badly....
I met someone recently who makes me feel alive, laughs, talks, have at least 1 thing we both really, really love to do. I enjoy myself in the few minutes we talk or meet. This new person is totally opposite. I feel wanted.
As for myself, feel like I am getting old because I am told so repeatedly. I am not very good at uncertainty and what would be like without my crappy situation. By no means am I perfect and have many, many flaws. When we try talking about things... it turns into a "you...." in both directions. So it is best not to talk and ignore everything, including each other. Form my perspective, our conversations are superficial except when we "discuss" financials or kids.
I know this is alot of rambling but this is how confused and fragmented my brain is. Hopefully someone here can help me make sense of it all. I can't.
I met someone recently who makes me feel alive, laughs, talks, have at least 1 thing we both really, really love to do. I enjoy myself in the few minutes we talk or meet. This new person is totally opposite. I feel wanted.
As for myself, feel like I am getting old because I am told so repeatedly. I am not very good at uncertainty and what would be like without my crappy situation. By no means am I perfect and have many, many flaws. When we try talking about things... it turns into a "you...." in both directions. So it is best not to talk and ignore everything, including each other. Form my perspective, our conversations are superficial except when we "discuss" financials or kids.
I know this is alot of rambling but this is how confused and fragmented my brain is. Hopefully someone here can help me make sense of it all. I can't.