And you don't have to just volunteer with service organizations, either -- if money is tight, some cultural groups will allow you to usher their events, sell or take tickets, sell concessions, etc., in exchange for seeing the performance or film for free. I know some people who do this for our community theater, and I worked for a couple of film fests last hear.
Also a good way to meet people with similar interests!
Hi Emma. I am 31 and have been married just about 2 years. Maybe similar situation? I am working on moving out and I definitely know that lonely feeling. Feel free to message me. Posted via Mobile Device
Sorry - I didn't even notice that people have been responding to this thread as it didn't seem to pick up much steam initially. Well, since I was last here I have moved to Las Vegas and start a new job in a week. I went with my step-sister to a Vegas "pool party" today ... it felt kind of awkward because while I can socialize with people, limbo limits my ability to meet people in "that way." By that I mean idk talk to people, go out on a date etc. Maybe that sounds bad I am even thinking about those things, but I saw a couple today enjoying their time together and it made me sad. Aside from that I have been decorating my new place (if it didn't fit in my car it didn't go with me), going to a new gym, getting organized etc. It definitely helps not being in the same environment my husband and I shared together. He went to our place a few days ago to get his stuff and he apologized to me, feeling some of what I felt saying it must have been hard on me. He felt negative toward me since I didn't want to see him before I left Seattle, but I said "now do you understand." Until he knows what he wants to do with me, I don't want to see him.
Anyway all my busyness has taken my mind off of things but there are times like now, when I am home alone with photos on the bookshelf, when I still feel really alone and sad.
Sorry for the ramble... anyone can PM me if they like
Hi Emma -- Wow, you've made some big changes!! Seattle to Vegas is a big deal. What are you hoping for in regards to you H? How is he doing with his depression?
It sounds like it is sort of helping that you are far enough away that you can establish a bit of your own life. I know from my own experience that having a severely depressed spouse can be really hard on your own mental state, and it's really tough on a marriage. So it's even more important for you to really be strong in your own identity. Good for you!!
Angel - all he tells me is he is still working on him, and really has no answers for me. It seems that August is the magical month to where he will have answers (or so he feels), but I think it will come and go with no progress. I have set August 31st as my deadline, if he has nothing for me I am just going to move forward with the divorce - even though I have made many changes, this is no way to live. I want things to work, but I just feel rather hopeless and am starting to wonder if I can even go back. Plus, while he has mentioned counseling for himself, he has made no actual steps to get help. I can't help someone who can't help themselves, all I see is lacking effort on his behalf.
Plus, while he has mentioned counseling for himself, he has made no actual steps to get help. I can't help someone who can't help themselves, all I see is lacking effort on his behalf.
Unfortunately, Emma, you've got the key right there. Someone who is depressed cannot figure it all out for himself. If he's not making the move to counseling, he hasn't hit the point where life is bad enough for him to want it more than the status quo.
You are right -- you cannot help him if he's not pulling his share for himself. That's why, sad and lonely and painful as it is, you've got to keep focusing on yourself.
You might want to look into reading a few books on dealing with a spouse with depression. One that I've read is called (1st edition): Depression Fallout (there's also an online forum with this name, too) or How you can survive when they're depressed (2nd edition title) by Anne Sheffield. It focuses on how to not get swallowed up.
Well now you can play slots 24/7 and share your loneliness with the whole town full of lonely people in the casino's. Actually it would be a good idea to stay out of the casinos and just see all the other peculiar sites the town has to offer,
I do understand your feelings. You can be around people and friends and still feel completly alone. My wife told me she wanted a divorce 6 months ago and the lonelyness is suffercating. You need to talk with people that can understand these feelings so you know it is normal... it is hard to find hope sometime in these situations you just have to reach out... ill be thinking about u
Thanks for all the support. Does anyone just feel lame? Like I don't start work for another week and even though I have been busy all morning, it's like the second I have some down time I just think about how I am sitting here all alone, with nobody calling me, and feeling like a big loser lol (although I realize I am not one). Does that make sense? I use to enjoy my alone time, didn't mind catching some TV, and now I feel lame and alone.