I have been married for the about 2.5 years. I have two beautiful daughters one just turned 2 and the other is 6 weeks old. Anyways to get to the point about a year ago something changed in my marriage, I am not sure what exactly caused this but my wife has been slowly cutting more and more sex out of the picture and we haven't had sex for about 3 months now (this started about a month before we got pregnant with our last child). Sometime during this she seemed to starting hiding stuff from me, phone messages, closing out of the screen on the computer... I denied it for quite some time and told myself that I was just coming in when she happen to be changing websites or whatever. About 3 weeks a friend of ours broke up with her boyfriend and about this time the hiding stuff got really bad, almost blatant about it. If I asked her who she was talking to she would lie. Till about a week ago it finally got to the point that I looked at her phone and she was talking to the friends ex.. She had also been deleting all the texts as she got them so I just happen to see one. I confronted her about this and she denied it of course and than it turned into I was just talking to him about my depression because he had some good ideas for it. I don't know if she was cheating on me or what... Sounds like it but I just don't what to think. Frankly I think would rather not know.
Anyways I told my wife I want to work through this. I love her very much. We started to talk about things and next thing I know she took the pictures off the wall, she said it hurt to look at them (whatever that is supposed to mean). She than told me that she just wants to be friends while she we work through all this. She barely even touches me anymore. I guess I am at a loss. Sometimes it feels like she wants to actually work on things and other times it feels like we are just growing further apart. I would really like to make this relationship work and not just for the kids.
I know that I have not been perfect, I have never cheated and I avoid friendships with other woman unless it is a mutual friendship with my wife and I.
Today it feels like a long shot, but I would really like my wife to fall back in love with me.... I guess I am just at loss for what to do....
first and foremost i am sorry you find yourself here.
Many of the actions you have described (deleting texts, closing screens, decrease in sex, wants to be friends with you (also known as the I Love You But I'm Not In Love With You (ILYBNINWY) are what is known as Red Flags that point to an affair.
At this point I would expect that she's at least in an emotional affair (EA) with this other man (OM)
What you need to do is investigate quietly. Do not confront her or ask if she's chesting. What you need to do is go out and buy a voice activated recorder and place it under her car seat with heavy duty velcro.
Next, install a keylogger on the computer. Also contact your cell carrier and get detail reports for the voice/rtext usage on her phone. Look for a lot of texts/calls to a number you don't recognize.
Gather your evidence before you confront her so she can't deny what is going on. when you do confront, don't reveal how you got yhe information or she may be able to go around you in the future and avoid your monitoring