05-17-2012, 07:02 PM
Join Date: May 2012
| | I was dumb, and now I am Numb
Hello everyone. I am really confused right now and i was so desperate for some help that I found this great forum.
Well to start of, I am M30 years old, married for almost 9 years (thinking about divorce), one son who is almost 6, and have been most of my married life.
Here it goes,
I met my wife when I was still overseas. We were dating for 4 months when I had to migrate here with my parents. In short I left her with a constant communication. Joined the military then after 18 months came back and we got married. left again for tw0 years, then she came over to Japan where I was stationed. Right after three weeks being there, she told me she was pregnant. I was a little surprised but what can I say I will be a dad soon.
I came home onetime for lunch when i saw a message on the computer. She was chatting with someone. I found out that was his ex bf while she was overseas. of course I was really upset. the fact that I was working hard for us and this is what I got in return. Then I started having doubts about the soon to be baby.
One month before her expected delivery date, i saw another message and this time the guy was asking about her pregnancy condition and how he was so excited about "his Son". I flipped out. I want to drag her out of the house but I did not. I confronted her, but the only answer I got was he is lying. I am the father. I dont want her to fly thousand miles on her condition. After giving birth, i am not sure bt since there is no real admitance from her, I tried to forget about it.
Cut the long story short, i have caught her so many times communicating with this guy. I kept on forgiving her. I have warned her, that if ever i caught her communicating with this guy again, i will divorce her.
two years had past, everything was fine, until she had to go home so she can take care of her sick sister. Before she left, i reminded him about his ex-bf. and plus this would be a true test if she got my trust back.
after three months, she came back. she was showing me her pictures then i noticed some pictures, which i believe she never ment to showed me. she had a lot of pictures on a very nice beach which she never mentioned she was going. and when i confronted her, she said she was with her sister. I did not see a single picture of her sister. and when i asked her sister, she said she was never on that place. After doing some investigation, i found out that she was with her ex-bf but with the BF's fiancee and friends. A group outing.
I told her i am getting a divorce and she needs to leave our house. She wont leave. and she kept on begging me to take her back. i keep on insisting for her to leave but she wont. and begging ang begging. there are times that I will take her back for her to stop begging me.
Now here are my questions?
Am i going to forgive her?
It looks like nothing happened between her and the guy, but she lied about it.
What do i need to do to get her out of the house?
i need some to tell me if i really love this person why i forgave her so many times or I am just dumb.
One more thing. My I am not the fateher of my beloved son. I knew about it, but it is not his fault for him to suffer. I loved him so much. He is with his grand parents since his mother left, so I think this would be the perfect time for me to drift away. Right?
Sorry if it is too long and boring. I am just desperate.