05-26-2012, 08:45 AM
Join Date: May 2012
| | H wants divorce... I want to work things out.
This is my first time posting. I've been married for 8 year together for 14 years. My H has decided that we are no right for each other. A little back story - when we were dating for about 3 years we broke up because he said he didn't love me any more then about 6 months later he call me to try and work thing out. We dated another 3 year until we were married and now have been married for almost 8 year (our anniversary is a few weeks). We were married for about 11 months and found our house which needed a lot of work so we basically knocked it down and rebuilt it. My parents helped us financial since we couldn't afford it. While we were working on the house we tried to get pregnant. We had our first son in Sept 2006 (3 months after our 2nd anniversary). After our son turned 2 we decided to try for a second child. We tried for a year on our own with no luck. My doctor suggested going to a fertility specialist to help us. Well it took us about another year to get pregnant with our second son. I also started to snore when we started to try to get pregnant. So my H couldn't sleep in our bed and we talked about waiting until I had the baby to try to fix the problem. After our second son was born we found out he has Downs syndrome. It was a huge shock and in the beginning was very difficult for me since everyone I talked to kept telling me that I needed to nurse him for atleast a year. Well he is now about a year old and is doing better than I could have ever imagined. He is very typical right now ( which is what all his therapist say). I haven't been the best housewife. After our first son was born I quit my job and started working with my parents so I could make some money and home with my son. Well I've been working for them since 2007. In the beginning I was working full time hours, but now since the birth of our second son I have had to reduce my hours to be there for the baby. Everyone says that he is doing so fantastic because I work with him so much. Since my H told me he wants a Divorce I have been doing a better job at the housework... I've cut my hours at my parent job so I could be home more plus the baby is not as needy since I'm not nursing him as much as in the beginning. I also went to the doctor to figure out what is going on with my snoring and it turns out I have sleep apnia. I'm trying to change some of the behavior that he doesn't like, but my H doesn't trust that I will last. I also have trust issues since this is the second time in my life that he is doing this to me. If we didn't have children (especially one with special needs) it would be easier to get divorce, but I am trying to think of my almost 6 year old and the 1 year old that really needs us. He says that he is unhappy in our house with me and now feel like I have make all the important decisions. He says now that he didn't want to get pregnant with our first when we did... He wanted to wait until after we were done building our house. Well I didn't tie him down and force him... He could have refused to try and get pregnant. At the time I thought he was on board with it. He also tells me that he didn't want to go to the fertility specialist either. Then why did he go and make deposit at their office so I could get pregnant? When we were pregnant with both our boys he was so happy. Now he says he doesn't love me any more... He feels that I have neglected him. And that he would rather be dead then live on our house with me. I really have not done anything on purpose and I thought he was happy. I want to work on our relationship and he wants to end it. He told me the day after my birthday that he wants a divorce... It's been two months now and not sure what he is waiting for? Not sure what to do?
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