11-10-2012, 04:54 PM
Join Date: Nov 2012
| | Re: It's going to be lonely in Dubai!
I am a victim of Dubai divorce too. When you are in the situation, nothing seems to dull the pain and loneliness of Dubai and it can seem awfully hopeless.
Many of my friends with seemingly strong marriages also saw their relationships fail too. It is not the kiss of death per se but a separation of values. I travelled to other middle east countries and my then wife was a Jumeirah Jane. Life was easy in Dubai, the beach was close, the pool in the garden heated in winter and chilled in summer. Choithrams was close, home leave allowance was paid in cash and vacations were accessible all over the world - and the bank account was overflowing. The company paid the rent, utilities, car, gas, it was a false lifestyle for many years.
For me, travel expanded my boundaries and exposed me to hardships that kept me anchored to reality. Perhaps it also altered my set of values too. For my spouse, she became absorbed in and bounded by the 4WD, the afternoon teas, the brandnames, the beaches, the nightclubs, the hotels, the restaurants, the malls and the easy tax-free life. The drift was inevitable and brutal.
As there were kids involved, that made the heartache worse. Had there been no children, it would have been easier to get over. There are quite a few support groups in Dubai and if you dig beneath the surface, can find sincere support. You need to find yourself a support structure because the more you share your situation, the easier it is, certainly more than visiting African and Eastern and then bottling it up inside day after day.
Marriage counselling only works if both parties have the same enthusiasm and commitment towards resolution. Save your money if it appears she is only going in order to save family face or satisfy social commitment to say that she really, really tried everything.
Here is one thing you can really do to check if reconciliation is possible. Ask her where she sees herself and what does she see herself doing in 5 years' time. Ask yourself the same question before you ask her. If the two answers do not match, I would not recommend that you give up your life to go back to the UK with her. Cut your losses and move on.
Getting an expatriate job is difficult, keeping it is more so. Stay overseas and get a job with an international firm that will allow you to transfer around a bit, create a name.. and keep your dream of Houston, perhaps you can transfer back there. Buy property and take care of yourself.
Last edited by williams2005; 11-10-2012 at 05:02 PM.