06-11-2012, 03:37 PM
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: South Florida
| | The roller coaster ride stinks
I'm sitting here running through my head how I'm going to tell my wife I want a divorce. Inevitably, I start thinking about the good times even though they're few and far between nowadays. Then of course, the guilt follows, the second guessing myself, the dumb thought that I can still fix this... Everyone always told us how we were the perfect couple, I think back to our wedding day and start to cry...it really hurts to think about all these things.
The fact that tomorrow is our 19 year anniversary doesn't help.
I'm going to suggest counseling to her first and see where that goes. I'm not optimistic that it will make any difference but if she agrees, I will certainly go with an open mind. I'm so afraid to get hopeful! I know exactly how it's going to go, things will get markedly better for a while, maybe a few months, and then slowly but surely they'll go right back to where they are today. I would love to be proven wrong but right now it just feels like I'm postponing the inevitable divorce. I would likely sell my soul to get back the woman I love but I fear she's too far gone between her depression and addictions.
Anyone have any advice on how to deal with the roller coaster of emotions other than a fifth of Jack Daniels? I could start thinking about all the bad times but all that does is take me from sad to angry. Not very productive...