06-12-2012, 11:27 PM
Join Date: Jan 2012
| | What to believe?? What to do??
I don't even trust my own emotions anymore.
Hubby says things - hurtful things. 30 years marriage.
There was an argument this weekend, that resulted in him saying:
"Things aren't getting better, and I don't see them improving"
"I'm sick of arguing all the time - it seems like it's all we do"
"I guess I'm getting older and too set in my ways to change"
We are currently not speaking, but living together.
When I asked him where we go from here, he said we could just do the roommate thing for awhile, while we figure out what to do.
This is his M.O. - the way he fights.
He will approach me with "well....what do YOU want to do about it --- NO, I asked you first".....GAG
He will tell me he doesn't mean the things he says, and I shouldn't take them "that way".
He will tell me what a crappy communicator he is and he gets frustrated and doesn't think before he talks.
This leaves me usually believing him - as the man child who doesn't know how to communicate, so he reacts before he things.
I find myself knowing we will be back here in 6 months and he'll say some similarly rude things, days of not speaking, etc.
I don't know what to do anymore.
I don't feel like I can trust him, or myself, as to what either really wants to do anymore.
The "I am woman hear me roar" in me, says make him pay for being a jerk and kick him to the curb.
The "30 years of marriage is worth fighting for" in me, says you can never stop trying.
So confused and it's making me physically sick.
Chest pains, burning arm and butterfly anxious feelings in my stomach.
He is sleeping peacefully and snoring loudly!!!