Re: My wife has fallen out of love with me, but there is more.
It sounds like she has entered into a mid life crisis. She is unhappy and disappointed with everything in her life up to this point, and is searching for something more. Trying to break up the new friendship that she is passionate about will only backfire on you. In her mind she’s finally on a sensible path now that she has decided to leave you and try new things. What she doesn’t yet realize is that she can find this meaning and purpose that she is desperately searching for while staying in the marriage. You can lead the way.
First, DO NOT PANIC! Don’t beg and plead for another chance, don’t attempt to force her into counseling, don’t criticize her or try to make her feel bad for wanting to leave, and don’t try to end her new friendship. Instead, work on yourself. Stay connected to her as much as possible and build on that. You want to be the one she confides in and tells everything to, and likes to have fun with. Get some new hobbies, take some classes, go out with friends. Tell her all about the exciting things going on in your life. Ask about her interests, desires, dreams. Understand that she will not come around overnight, no matter what you do. Prepare yourself for a long ride if you want to save this. The good news is that it is possible to rebuild your marriage to one that is even stronger and more passionate than before.
Search “mid life crises in women” and learn what’s going on in her mind. You have to understand what she’s going through before you can respond properly. Do not suggest to her that she is going through a MLC. It will trivialize her feelings and she will resent the label. Remember, she has decided on a new course in life and it makes perfect sense to her.
Last edited by AlmostYoung; 06-13-2012 at 09:51 AM.