Can you start carrying a VAR to catch his threats on "tape"? And be willing to call the cops if he's going to stop you from leaving your place again or if he gets threatening to you or your kids. And I would agree that he's not doing anything that should make you think he's a suitable "roommate"! Extending his suicide threats to the kids is a real classless move.
The one thing I'd suggest you to stop doing is stop lieing to him about being in touch with him. If you're not going to call, don't tell him you'll call him. Oh, and can you afford some family counseling? It might help the kids understand what's going on and let them talk about the situation with someone who's not involved
Btw, what does your therapist say about all of this? Really, shouldn't she be a good source of ways to deal with this, rather than a bunch of untrained anonymous people on the Internet?
My therapist as well as the priest said i need to contact the police the situation is not cool and he needs help even though they are both thinking he is manipulating but it is obvious that he has a severe depression.
He gave 24 hours time limit to give my answer by accepting him in my apartment otherwise he will kill himself that's what he told my kids.
My kids all of them are asking me to accept him as roommate they don't want him to die and they don't want me to call the police
I am sure your kids mean well , your husband is pushing their buttons and they are his puppets . Even more of a reason not to have him near you, the man has a bad case of no-good in him.
Be strong , he is not your worry. Stick to the words as a husband he is supposed to protect and support his family. He has done neither , he does not even have the self respect to fend for himself and evidence he can be a loving husband.
The good news he is an ex , let him remain so. To back to basics and focus on yourself, he is taking up way to much of your time . You've done well so far and as the days pass you will get stronger. Posted via Mobile Device
There is a possibility that he might harm himself i am in a very tough situation and my kids are scared to lose their dad it is only in my hands to help that to not happens
I am so tired, lost, confused, scared...
Is there any exit if i don't want to contact the police?
The police are there to protect you, I think you should not be sharing these conversations with your children. Simply call them and report him, the police will deal with him as per the law. Posted via Mobile Device
It is NOT your responsibility to keep him alive. His constant abuse of you and your children has led you to believe his life is in your hands. You cannot stop him from harming himself, he's made these threats for as long as you've been posting on this forum. Please inform the police when he threatens to commit suicide or abuses you in the future. If there are no consequences for his behavior he will never change.
Your children are likely becoming codependent because of this relationship, so make sure they're seeing someone suited for this issue. In addition, make certain that your home is secure and that you have the means to defend yourself and your children if necessary. I'm fearful that your XH would harm you and your children before taking his own life, if it ever came to that.
Please reinstate NC. Make it clear to all family/friends that NC means they are not to pass on messages for your XH. If they don't listen, they should no longer be welcome in your life. Your XH has NOT changed. I know you see that. PLEASE PROTECT YOURSELF! Posted via Mobile Device
Again, l'll suggest family counseling so EVERYONE understands the situation and what your husband is doing. You can't be totally responsible for someone else's mental health! Caving in to home is NOT going to solve the problem.
Yesterday I called a crisis hotline for suicide prevention. I spoke to a counselor who was very supportive, he also spoke to my kids it was very helpf! Posted via Mobile Device
I spoke to my brother who lives in Paris, my brother told me later that he called my exh, he told him that it is totally wrong what he is doing to himself and to the kids. He also told him that it is not ok to force me to take him back.
My brother suggested to ask me if I agree to do family therapy, my exh said he would do anything if he has a hope that I will go back to him. My brother said no promises about anything.
I called my exh and agreed to do the counseling. My exh said I will do the impossible just give me a hope I said don't ask me more then what I agreed to do. The counseling as my brother said is to help us to deal with each other in respectful way also to deal with our kids in better way. No need to ask me more, you are emotionally not feeling good and I feel the same so whatever you want more you need to ask it to the therapist not to me.
My point is he is severely depressed and he is not getting any treatment so by starting this it is a first step where the therapist might offer him what he needs and as my brother said he will tell the therapist his goal (get me back) and I will tell her my goal (for him to learn how to talk to me when he has to deal with me and how to deal with the kids and not manipulate them, also to help him to move on with his life without me, and get help and support needed to not harm himself) Posted via Mobile Device
Maybe I should have been more clear... When I mentioned family counseling, I was referring to you and your kids. But if it works with your ex as well, more power to you all, I guess. And if it moves him to getting the help he needs, that's great!
C, I called the Catholic charity and i told them my goal also i mentioned his threats, they suggested that it is better to do couples therapy and if we need we can come different day for family therapy but i think i can't handle seeing him two times a week. I need to breathe and this is enough for me i wouldn't do it if i wasn't pushed to it...
I hope, even i can't hope a lot with him, but i still need to keep that hope, so, hopefully, this is going to give me some time of peace until i can find better solution to the situation.
Also what i did is something positive in front of my kids...
My fear is that he might try to show everyone the nice guy to make more pressure on me so everyone will think he really changed, but i have no other solution at this moment..
23Likes
