krash88

I hate to hear that things aren't getting any better, but maybe at least you know that you can survive this.

I, at last, have some good news on my end. I have been diligent in showing my wife just how much I love her (leaving notes, sending flowers, paying for dinner, etc.) We went to a friends family reunion and she noticed how everyone treated her kindly despite the fact that I was close to the family before she and I met. She knew that I had never spoken badly about her even through all of our troubles. The next day while walking around the mall she held my hand. It felt like the first time. The next day she visited me at work and asked that we not separate, to which I gladly agreed. It felt like a ton of weight instantly lifted from my shoulders. I have resolved to show her every day how much I care and I hope I don't smother her. Communication is now our strong point where it was so weak before.

I hope my story helps if even just a little. There is a lot more to it, but I have to concentrate on other things at the moment. Not everyone gets another chance and I feel so fortunate to have it and to have my wife back. I sincerely think that your wife will realize that this other guy just can't live up to her expectations. I just wonder if, by then, you would even have her back. Good luck, stay true to yourself, and look forward to the future, whatever it may bring.

Wats

krash,

Such good news for you and I'm happy for you. I pray things will turn for us too.

Merry Christmas everyone and thanks for the words of encouragement and support.

I had told my wife that I wanted her to leave but then told her to please stay and she hasn't left yet. I did tell her that I really didn't want her there if she was going to pursue a life with another man but if she had the slightest doubt about things that she should stay. I told her I wasn't putting a time limit on anything. I hope she sees how much I love her by letting her stay at home. It's tearing me apart. She says she needs me to leave her alone about what is going on and give her space and that's what I intend to do. She has cut way back on talking to this other guy but she still can't see that this guy is a homewrecker and any real man would not make advances on a married woman and send her a phone to our house. My wife and I do speak and laugh together but once the marriage issue comes up she feels defensive and pushed. So, I won't say anymore about those things and I won't call her or hound her any longer. I told her if she wants to leave she needs to write up the separation agreement. She hasn't yet. Hopefully she won't and she'll turn around. Her mother told her she needs to stop and really think about what she's doing but she has no respect for her mom however, she has been speaking to her mother often lately as have I. Her mother doesn't want her to do this. Her family doesn't want her to do this but she needs to make the decision.

draconis

I really do not understand you standing beside her as she cheats on you but it is not my choice to make. I wish you the best of luck.

draconis

Wats

Well,

I guess it's hard to understand all the circumstances especially with all the little bits that aren't shared with you guys but last night my wife and I had a talk and it seemed very positive and she wasn't rejecting everything I said and she seemed as though she had realized what she was doing and she asked that I not humiliate her with the e-mails I had captured with the spy software. I told her that wasn't important to me. I told her that the only thing I cared about was her and our children and I wouldn't care if we lived in a box as long as we were together and asked that she please not turn her back on me. I told her again that if she was going to pursue a life with another man then I really didn't want her there but if she had any doubt she really needs to stay. I'm feeling that she is changing her mind about what is going on and I said to her as she left the room to please stay here at home and don't look for a place to rent and she nodded her head as though she would stay. I feel in my heart that the best thing right now is to leave her alone and give her the space she needs and take things one day at a time. She has to know how much I love her and I feel she really loves me too. She just needs space and time. That's my feelings right now. Please continue to pray for us and our family.

I see your point Draconis but the fact of the matter is she is doing this because she wasn't getting what she needed from me. That is my fault. It is my responsibility to make my wife happy. She hasn't been intimate with this loser and hopefully it will never come to that but the fact remains that it is my fault and if given the chance I will always place her ahead of me and treat her as she should be treated. I see my failures and short-comings and I will never let that happen again. I let my hurt turn to anger and then resentment which in turn led to this happening to our marriage. We both haven't put any effort into our relationship in a long time and I pray I will get another chance.

I'll keep you all informed. Thank you so much.

draconis

I will pray for you.

Best of luck.

draconis