06-18-2012, 12:20 PM
Join Date: Jun 2012
| | to marry or not to marry
Iīm not quite sure what to do.
Iīve been together with my partner for over a year, weīve been engaged for half a year, Iīm four months pregnant and our wedding will be in 4 weeks time.
I recently had lots of fights with my partner. He has been very secretive and tried to be very controlling.
He doesnīt want to talk about certain things and gets very easily angry. I figured out that he told me A LOT of lies, he denies that he ever lied, but some things are too obvious.
He told me that he studied at university which is not true and it wouldnīt be a problem, but I see the problem in him telling me he did when he doesnīt even have A-level.
The other big issue is money. Iīm working, but soon will stop to have the baby. Iīm so worried we canīt even pay the flat. My partner is very busy all day and claimed to start a business which he clearly hasnīt, yet. He hasnīt really done anything in last 6 months. Instead I found out he does illegal things to get a little bit of money. But that is not a foundation to have a family and I would highly disapprove it. Therefore he denies it and I donīt know for sure, but Iīve got lots of evidence and Iīm confused.
Iīve got the feeling I donīt know that person Iīm about to marry and who is going to be the father of my child.
If it was only the lying bit, but he completely started to try to control me. He wants to know exactly what I do and asks me every half an hour. If we are together at the weekend and I want to leave to go swimming he wouldnīt allow it and if I go he starts huge fights which end in him saying heīll leave me and baby and marry someone else. I gave up all my hobbies I had, because most of them like dancing were with body contact and he didnīt allow me to be touched by other men. I gave so much up for him and he doesnīt appreciate it. He just demands more and more and more. The first 9 months he didnīt even mind my hobbies, I could do whatever and whenever I wanted, but that changed now. I sometimes feel like a prisoner. I have to ask for permission for everything.
He claims to be strongly catholic, but sometimes his behaviour doesnīt really seem like it.
Iīm confused what to do. Our wedding is so fast approaching and everything is planned and paid for by me and my parents.
When his weird controlling behaviour started I thought he is just very stressed, because he doesnīt have a job anymore and he worries about his new business and I thought itīll go away, but he is still not earning money and it gets worse. I donīt even know for sure if heīll ever change again or if he just lied to me in the first 9 months to be fine with everything I do.
Please I would appreciate to find out what you think.