ebp123

I joined this forum not quite 3 years ago b/c I was unhappy in my marriage. And guess what, I'm still unhappy and still want a divorce.

What am I waiting for? I'm think i'm just scared of what it will do to the kids, of all the unknowns, actually. I want out, but can't find the courage to do it. And that's so not like me! I'm usually the person to jump in with both feet and then look back to see if it was a good idea.

I am so ready to move on! Anyone else out there just plain stuck and need a good kick in the butt? I could use one!

Lon

I "was" stuck, at times my mind would drift to divorce and I found myself becoming more depressed and hopeless feeling. When I put the thoughts of divorce out of my mind, I could see hope once again, and so I put my nose to the grindstone and plugged away.

My ex obviously couldn't keep her mind off of divorce, and so now we are divorced.

It sucks, but on the outside she appears to be happier, our son is definitely having some issues, it will affect who he is at his core and it has also changed my view of what marriage is supposed to be and I can pretty much guarantee I do not want my son to follow in my footsteps so will certainly not be endorsing marriage to him as he grows. Of course if its what he truly wants I'd be proud and happy but he won't find the motivation for marriage from his parents example, his grandparent's example will probably be obsolete for him. If he has an adulthood of serial monogamy I'd consider it a success.

I'd say get off the fence, if you want to divorce then it is all on you, do it already, your life will not get any better, nor your childrens' or your husbands but atleast you will have satisfied your curiosity plus you will no longer have the nagging feeling of being on the fence. And you most likely will find new romance partners that bring you some enjoyment, maybe even one worthy of spending the rest of your days with.

But if you don't want divorce then start putting it out of your mind and actually do something to improve your life and your marriage, your whole family would benefit.

bluelaser

could u elaborate on the reasons behind your unhappiness and the reason you decided to stay this way for 3 yrs
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gopherstatedad

Well if you are like me you are struggling with knowing YOU are probably better off but you haven't convinced yourself that your family is better off. Do you have kids? My guess is you do and that is your biggest hangup.

norajane

What kind of unknowns? Aside from the impact on the children, what unknowns are you afraid of?

Sometimes, breaking a problem down into parts and thinking practically and rationally about each part, can help in easing the fear of the unknown. The future becomes less unknown if you have specific plans for each step.