greatlakes

@ that_girl... She said we needed a vacation some time ago but we couldn't get it planned. We took a vacation a few years ago. Things were better for a while. Then, right back to the same old problems. I understand what you mean about wooing my wife. I'm just tired. I know this will take work if I want to make it work. Right now. At this very moment, I'm not sure that I want to make it work. I know that sounds terrible, but that's how I feel at this moment. I'm hoping to get it together in the next few days and have a talk with her. Maybe, bringing up the vacation idea will help. I'm just tired of dealing with the same thing time and time again.

that_girl

She works too much.

Any chance of her cutting back?

It's ruining your marriage. The problems, I betcha, stem from work.

__________________

greatlakes

@ that_girl... No chance of her cutting back. She's the boss at work. Runs everything. I'm glad you brought that up though. I was out today and had that same thought about her job ruining the marriage. Lots of stress. Lots. Tons. But again, I think you've got a piece of it there. It's killing us.

Toffer

No sex in 6+ months?

Yeah, you're roommates!

HiMaint57

Or she may be working all those hours to get away from you and the issues in the marriage. She may not want to give up any time at work. I guess you know where the marriage stands if she chooses work.

lostwithin

This sounds so much like my situation. Always walking on eggshells because any slip of the tongue or "tone" sends her into a flare up. Possibly sending a really good time into a crappy time in the blink of an eye.

My wife does takes medications but it goes beyond that. Its a control thing for her. In the last 8mo or so I've been pushing back. I'm tired of being treated like a child.

Like you, I can count on my hands how many times we've had sex in two years.

It seems as though we have good friends living us, rather than lovers or wives.

I hope that both of us can muster the courage to do what is needed to improve our lives with or without them. Preferably the former.

greatlakes

Hi Lostwithin,

I'm not certain which direction I want to go now. I care about her and love her, but I don't know what kind of love it is. I care about what happens to her. I support her. I will continue to be concerned for. But, I don't know that I'm actually in love with her. I'm not certain. I know this sucks. I spoke with a friend today who was very encouraging. Kept telling me to try certain things. But, last night, my wife told me that things were not going to change. That this is how it is. With that, I'm not certain what to do. Somehow it's comforting to know there's someone else out there going through the same thing - even though it is a really tough situation. Thanks.

Greatlakes

greatlakes

Toffer,

So, when is the point at which it disintegrates? That is, become friends and separate? That's my spot now.

Thanks.

Greatlakes

greatlakes

HiMaint57,

That's a good point. She's so fixated on work. I kind of understand though because she's literally poured her entire life into it. I'm supportive but do voice my opinion from time to time about my disappointment that our lives have taken this direction. I think I mentioned it someplace on here in the last few minutes that her response to that was that "this is how it is and it's not going to change."

Thanks for the insight,

Greatlakes

lostwithin

I feel the exact same way. I'm sure I was put in her life to get her through a very difficult time and feel honored to have been there to push in the right direction and hold her hand. Now we've grown and changed and have different priorities while remaining good friends.