Sorry to hear that you have to deal with this crap. The way I see it, your husband had an affair and broke your marriage vows. I would have a hard time getting over that as well. The fact that he thinks you should accept what happened is ludicris. You may forgive but you will never forget.
My friends and family have told me that this is an emotionally abusive relationship
What he is doing is manipulative and abusive. I'm guessing that you drove him to have an affair with another woman? It's all your fault? Classic cheater behavior to deny they did anything wrong and then blame someone else (you in this case).
When he decided that he did not want to be with me anymore he chose to move out of the apartment that we're in now and get his own.
Well, I guess you have your answer concerning your marriage. He moved of his own free will
from the marital home. In some states that might be considered abandonment, especially since he signed a lease of his own. In my state, if your spouse moves out and establishes a residence on their own, you can have them arrested for trespassing if they try to come back to the home without a court order.
As I said before the only thing I want to do is be able to move down to Dallas like we had planned, with or without my husband, and be able to take care of my son without my husband trying to take him away from me...The only thing that I fear in all of this is if I move like we had planned with my son to Dallas without my husband he's going to turn around and say that I kidnapped my son.
Nothing has been filed in court, right? You both have rights with regard to your son. You can go to Dallas right now with your son and it would not be considered kidnapping. Now, he could go through the effort to legally try to force you to return your son, but that would require effort on his part to potentially find a lawyer and file motions with the court.
my husband is under the impression that I'm going to continue to drive my son back up here to visit him every single week which is going to be three hours away.
Right now without a court order, you don't have to do anything. Since you are the one that would be moving, when you finally do get a custody agreement in place, the courts may make you absorb a majority of the transportation cost. But I don't see the court mandating once a week visitation at that distance, it would not be in the best interest of the child.
He is convinced that he is the better and more stable parent for my son, but I completely disagree with that.
He can think whatever he likes.
Right now you need to think about your
long term outlook. If your intention is to divorce your husband, think about your goals with regards to your son and your marital assets. What is important to you and what can you do without? What can you use to bargin with in the negotiations? This will help to shape your legal strategy.
Most states are no-fault divorce, you don't have to prove anything to get a divorce. Meet the state requirements, file with the court, and you can be done. You do not need your husbands permission or involvement, if he so desires. However, since you have a child together, you may be dealing with him for a long time, but you don't have to be married.
The tough part is that you work 3 hours from where you currently live. Legally you can go to Dallas with your son but as I mentioned, you could be forced to return him down the road. But you cannot continue the way that you have since it sets status quo that your son lives with his Dad all week and you are okay with the situation. Although you husband moved out of the marital residence, you still allow your son to stay with him. Obviously he can't be that bad. It might look poorly on your case if you just up and leave.
I would highly recommend you think about your goals and seek legal counsel to figure out what are your options. I think you would have a good legal footing to move on the basis that you have a good, stable job and are looking out for the best interests of your child. But you cannot just move and legally take your son away from his father either.