is this the last straw? outsiders opinion please..

kairi13 · 07-07-2012, 07:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EleGirl

I agree... but we don't know the whole story... the husband is not here to defend himself.

If he has hit her for something other than self defense, then yep he's an SOB.

My concern is that the OP is hell bent on running off and taking their child across the country without even telling the father her plans. She basically plans to kidnap their child.

I would want his side of the story before supporting that plan.

maybe threatening to kill me isn't a good enough excuse for you???

kairi13 · 07-07-2012, 07:28 AM

also threatening to kill himself if i do

kairi13 · 07-07-2012, 07:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EleGirl

Why have you not ever learned to drive?

at 16 i learned a little how to drive but every time i did drive i would blackout. i wouldn't remember driving across town with my mom. she told me i would do a good job but to me it was like how the heck did i get here.

when i was 19 and moved back to missouri i went and to the written test and got my permit. husband promised to teach me how to drive more but never did.....my permit expired after 2years.

EleGirl · 07-07-2012, 07:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kairi13

1month ago he hit me. he punches walls all the time. throws things all the time. grabbed me maybe 5. hes always done it...playing video games, something doesn't go his way like me not agreeing with him on certain issues.

Have you gotten in touch with a domestic violence facility where you live?

No one should live with this.

EleGirl · 07-07-2012, 07:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kairi13

at 16 i learned a little how to drive but every time i did drive i would blackout. i wouldn't remember driving across town with my mom. she told me i would do a good job but to me it was like how the heck did i get here.

when i was 19 and moved back to missouri i went and to the written test and got my permit. husband promised to teach me how to drive more but never did.....my permit expired after 2years.

You blacked out when you drove? How many times did this happen?

kairi13 · 07-07-2012, 07:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EleGirl

You blacked out when you drove? How many times did this happen?

4 Times! the last time i almost ran over my 14 year old sister in the drive way... my mom told me that we would have to wait till i was less stressed about it.

bluelaser · 07-07-2012, 07:47 AM

Is DH's name Jason or Brandon?

EleGirl · 07-07-2012, 07:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kairi13

maybe threatening to kill me isn't a good enough excuse for you???

Go back and look at your original post. You left out the details.. you know about him punching walls, threatening to kill you, threatending to kill himself, grabbing your 5 times, him putting you down all the time...

Instead you spent most of it talking about the trip to the lake to swim and fighting with the cousin. If you left the details out.. do not blame others for not reading what is not there.

EleGirl · 07-07-2012, 07:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kairi13

4 Times! the last time i almost ran over my 14 year old sister in the drive way... my mom told me that we would have to wait till i was less stressed about it.

Do you black out like this for other things? Or was it just driving?

kairi13 · 07-07-2012, 07:50 AM

practicing in a lot where people weren't around wasn't a problem for me...but getting out there with other cars around me...thats when i didn't remember anything.

Cherry · 07-07-2012, 07:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MainStreetExile

Forgive me if this seems too harsh, or too final; I am fully aware that I cannot see the either the full dynamic of the situation or true workings of your heart and mind, and apologize if I end up sounding too uncompromising:

The moment he struck you, he lost all value. All of it. I don't care what kind of convoluted logic he cares to apply to his actions; it is wrong, unforgivable, and worthy of nothing but contempt. Can't change? Bullsh*t. Won't change, he doesn't want to. Change requires work, and if he cannot be troubled to control his temper he certainly won't exert any effort anywhere else.

Love, actual love, absolutely precludes the possibility of violence.

Spoken for truth.

EleGirl · 07-07-2012, 07:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kairi13

practicing in a lot where people weren't around wasn't a problem for me...but getting out there with other cars around me...thats when i didn't remember anything.

I've never heard of anyone doing this. It must have been freaky.

EleGirl · 07-07-2012, 08:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kairi13

i know im coming across a young girl who doesn't know anything...thats why you want to hear my husbands side....

This is not true at all. One of the things that gets brought up here a lot is that we are not comfortable with hearing only one side of the story.

An example of why:

My sister-in-law accused my brother of hitting her and injuring her twice. It turns out that both times it was in self-defense. The first time she was yielding a butcher knife at him while he was holding his daughter. He put the child in the playpen and disarmed her… yes she had bruises … form him taking the knife away from her (he’s a black belt). The second time she jumped on his back and was trying to gouge out his eyes and biting his neck.-(Bi-polar chick)
You are talking about taking your child across the country, away from- her father. This is very serious.

Now that you have told us more of what is going on, forget the books I suggested. Your marriage is way too gone for those.

How soon are you planning on leaving for California?

If you are going to me around for a while you should get in touch with a local domestic violence organization. You can get counseling, they can help you develop an exit plan, and even have a safe place for you to go to if things get bad. The ones I’ve worked with will come pick people up for appointments. They even give their clients cell phones that can call 911 for help… sort of your secret phone for help.

Reach out to people around where you live, professionals who can help you.