07-11-2012, 01:47 PM
Join Date: Jul 2012
| | Sad and confused about the state of my marriage/family
So, I can't believe I'm using this forum to talk about my personal issues but I'm stressing out and need advise/support.
I've been married for almost 3 years, together with my husband for 12 years. We have 2 beautiful children and live a modest but comfortable life. We met when I was 20 and have had to endure some painful things in our relationship. Firstly, the admission that he had cheated on me several times, which after a brief separation and counselling we reconcilled and got back together, got married a year later and started our family. I've been dissapointed again by him lying to me, albeit a minor lie, I feel completely disrespected and unsure of what the future holds.
My husband and I are in counselling again to work through my frustrations about being lied to and trying to make a change in our relationship where it comes to honestly and open communication. He has made great progress but I've lost my trust in him again and can't find a way out! I think about divorce and separation all the time! And everytime I do I am so deeply saddened for our children and him. I know he loves me with all of his heart, and I will honestly love him forever too, but I honestly feel like this pattern of deceipt and lies will be a factor in our eventual divorce. Is it worth trying over and over again to save a marriage that is at best a relationship between 2 friends only? We are not equal partners in the marriage, we are really barely compatable... I'm freaking out!
So do I call it quits right now in anticipation of being disappointed yet again in the future? Or do I grin and bare it, hoping that things will change? Is it easier to separate when your kids are young? How the hell can I decide to break everyone's heart and go my own 'selfish' way?