bataballaharda

I recently had an arguement with my significant other of 13 years. We are not married but we have two children (2 & 4). He approached me to have a discussion about something that bothered him after I had just worked a 12 hour night shift in which we were short staffed (It was a bad night). When we have discussions, i feel like he is lecturing me instead of discussing. So, i tend to tune out or only respond when he says something that really gets to me. Anyway, he left the room mad when i told him i didnt' want to discuss this now. He slammed the door really hard as he left. I was immediately filled with rage. I quickly went after him. He was in the driveway about to get in his truck and i said, "i want you to leave now and not come back" I really didn't mean it at that time. But he did it. He packed up pretty much everything that was his and moved in with a family memeber. Anyway, it has been almost a week. We have talked, he wants to move back in, but i have enjoyed the separation. It has allowed me to relax and think. He wants to move back in and do MC. I want him to stay moved out and us to MC and as things get better move him back in.
I the past week we have done things together with the kids. I have realized or atleast i feel like he and i are better off being friends. There was less stress between us, we laughed and joked with eachother. It was nice! I am just not sure what to do.....anyone else out there been in a similar situation or is experiencing it now. Could really use someone to help me sort this out.

Acorn

Keep in mind that in a situation like yours, you are benefiting from the distance apart (less tension, focus on fun, no effort being made to work out issues) but you are not experiencing any of the drawbacks. He's still very much trying to be active with you and show you why the two of you should be together.

If you really want to imagine what it would be like to be friends with him, consider that you will have to split up half the assets, the child support will cover day care and that's probably it, he won't be around as much and when he does, imagine a hottie next to him playfully kissing him and his smile when she does.

If you read all that and you still think friends is the way to go, do yourself both a favor and tell him it's over.

If not, consider that communication is probably the biggest problem here and you can't run from it forever. Also consider that the reason you are so happy with him lately is because you aren't focusing on conflict - and if you eliminated the conflict, it could be like this with him every day. You need to talk productively.

ngonza

Good Luck in your choice