04-21-2009, 07:47 AM
Join Date: Apr 2009
| | My husband says he doesn't love me anymore.
I am hoping that someone might be able to offer some advice, especially if you have been through a similar situation.
My husband and I met at school, went to Uni together and got married last year. We are both 26 and have now been together for nearly 10 years.
I have never ever doubted that he is exactly what I want. I love him so much and we have a wonderful live. (no kids yet). We don't really argue, both have good jobs, and have great friends. We are both considerate of each other and I never imagined anything would ever be different. I've always felt so loved.
He dropped the bombshell last November, suddenly telling me that he is no longer in love with me. He said it was devestating to have to say it to me, but that he didn't think we should stay married. This was only about 8 months after we got married. Initially, that night he insisted that we stay at our parents then try and figure out the next step. 24hrs later I managed to persuade him that we should go home, have counselling and try and come up with a decision together, which he agreed to.
We have had counselling, together and seperately, and I have found it useful, but we seem to talk and talk and not do anything.
I realise that if he doesn't love me, then it makes sense that he doesn't necessarily want to save the marriage, and any goal-based therapy like CBT probably won't work. Does anyone have experience of this? I assume that it's usually used in cases where both parties love each other but have an issue to overcome, like anger, or substance abuse.
I'm grasping at straws, he cares for me and worries about how I'm feeling, but says the missing factor is the crucial one. Sorry for writing such a long post. If anyone has any input I would be very greatful.