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I am a Husband and Father. Contemplating a life with another woman (yes I feel like an -------).

I know it could all be just soemthign different, new uninhibited with stresses of everday life. This woman is so amazing, so loving, so not bitter, not mad and is quite a happy person to be around.

Just don't really want to let this other amazing woman go.

But I don't want to cause my (3) children or even my wife pain. I know I already have by making the choices I have. Our (14 yr) relationship isn't the best and always seems filtered and censored to get along. If my wife knew - she would want to leave (understandably) - which I think I would be fine with but she would be so spiteful and hurtful with that information.

Have you been in this situation? Did you leave? How do you feel now?

Please skip the judgement and move on to another post if that is your perspective,

trey69

I have not been in this kind of situation. However, I do feel you owe it to your wife, kids yourself and this other woman to tell them the truth. I understand you don't want to cause your family pain, BUT the reality of it is, it more than likely will, and you will need to cross the bridge when you come to it. If you want your marriage, you will need to drop this other woman. If you want this other woman, tell your wife, its only fair and right.

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"When people are truly sick and tired of being sick and tired, that's when they will make a change."

Toshiba2020

It sounds like you have already made up your mind. Your children will understand in time, maybe not until they are adults but once they have a few serious relationships and break ups and go through the difficult of marriage one day they will understand and one day they will forgive you for any pain you may end up causing. I dont know the situation with your wife but im she will be very upset and take her anger out on you but chances are the person shes really mad at is herself, for letting the marriage get to the point where it is now. Id recommend being honest with everyone and get it all out there.