Originally Posted by summerB
Can you please tell me, from an uninvolved 3rd party standpoint, what you think about this? I don't really have anyone to talk to and I want to leave but am too scared. Any help is much appreciated. Thanks
Actually, you nailed it on your own without anyone's help. Controlling. Keeping you away from the influence of others (be they friends, family, IC etc.) He wants you all to himself to form you into his (servant?) To be totally dependent on him.
This is a form of emotional abuse that he cannot accept you as an individual, and it appears that, with him anyway, there is no room for compromise. What is the saying? "My way or the highway." Sounds just like him. He might be older than you, but he certainly does need to grow up. He needs IC, but is too proud to admit it.
On a deeper psychology scale, he probably is terrified of losing you, which explains the control. He has to feel that you "need him", and to do so, he must set you up to question your own judgment and decisions. Once he has turned you into a zombie robot, he will still not respect you, because the problem is with him, not you.
You are too scared to leave? Then he has done his job. That's what he wants. Worst case scenario, what would happen to you if you did leave him? Do you have a job? Someplace to go? A plan? You might want to consider your options as your daughter is practically a baby and neither one of us can speculate what will happen with her daddy. What kind of discipline does he recommend for your daughter? Corporal punishment? For what sort of infractions? Does he appear intent on over disciplining her? For everything?
Not sure how this will all unfold, but my advise to you would be to trust your gut, your instincts, and plan accordingly. And continue with your IC. She apparently picked up on something from your H which may help in her understanding of the situation.