Tired of the insults and anger and hatred - Talk About Marriage
Considering Divorce or Separation If you're considering divorce or separation, this is the place to talk.

User Tag List

LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
post #1 of 3 (permalink) Old 12-09-2007, 04:04 PM Thread Starter
Registered User
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 1
Tired of the insults and anger and hatred

I have been married to this man for almost 4 years and I am going to divorce him because of his temper, his inability to communicate, his constant blaming and his verbal abuses and physical abuses. That were once just coming from him, but now I fight back and it's turning very ugly in front of our 2 small children.

I am of Asian descent and he is from Anglo descent and for no other reason that to get me angry and his inability to speak to me and deal with me as a mature man would treat his wife, he will call me a gook and a ***** instead.

If I have a complaint or raise my voice because I am tired of him taking me for granted or for shoving me when I was pregnant with both of our kids, for the many small physical abuses which have now become a two way street. We insult each other every time we fight. We break each others things. Precious things like, paintings, easels, photographs, pottery, mugs, car windshields...

I have left him twice with our children. He refuses to divorce me. Luckily he leaves for Afghanistan for one year in a very short while we find out when he leaves for school and then abroad. I can't wait. I have gotten a job and now have to file for divorce. I am going to be a single mother anyway while he is gone, I might as well take that and run. He is the type that would make this very difficult for me.

I don't have a lot of my own money yet to leave, which is why I am still living at the house. I had left earlier to stay in a shelter, but he lost his orders due to losing his clearance and stayed for another 6 months. I filed a protective order with against him and dropped it.

Living here with him has been the hardest thing ever.

A year into marriage this man called me a gook and then days later blew into a rage because he was stressed out over his brother who was in town visiting our newborn, threw socks and underwear at us while I was nursing our 3 month old daughter. He supposeldy has ADHD but won't get medication for fear of losing his orders. So you can imaging the added stress and blow up I have to endure as a result of that.

I have changed into a unhappier but wiser person for marrying this troubled man. He is self centered, immature for 33. And tries to meet the mark but falls short a lot. He is mean, and a bully. I was way too naive to marry him after a year. Shame on me for having 2 children with him. Now the real hard work begins.

After all this, the part I feel most stupid for is how could I have married a man who would call me a gook over and over and over again?

~Soon to be divorced

twinklelites is offline  
Sponsored Links
post #2 of 3 (permalink) Old 12-10-2007, 11:36 AM
Forum Supporter
draconis's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: North East
Posts: 3,707
Re: Tired of the insults and anger and hatred

Don't worry about what you did do, worry about what you need to do. GET OUT. Even if not for you then for your kids. It only takes an anger like that once to hurt a child. The mental damage he can do to them is also paramount. GO THRU with the DIVORCE.

draconis is offline  
post #3 of 3 (permalink) Old 12-11-2007, 09:54 AM
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 153
Re: Tired of the insults and anger and hatred

I don't think marrying him was stupid on your part at all. We all marry hoping that we will be together forever. It sounds like you are a strong women and already know that the best thing you can do for you and the children is to leave. Good luck to you hope it all works out for you in the end.
tater03 is offline  
Sponsored Links

Quick Reply

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.

User Name:
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:


Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Sick & tired of being sick & tired - verbal abuse & anger issues AL8 Considering Divorce or Separation 5 01-04-2013 03:16 PM
sudden hatred CLucas976 Life After Divorce 20 07-14-2012 08:54 PM
Anger, disgust, hatred, disbelief, yep,,, still. Shooboomafoo Life After Divorce 6 11-11-2011 11:20 AM
Tired of Wife's Insults of Me and My Family rp49 General Relationship Discussion 19 07-27-2010 08:53 AM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome