Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Central Virginia
Re: Husband is giving mixed messeges after moving out. Need Opinions.
Yes, read up on the 180 and do not smother him in any way, shape, or form. You might want to make plans to go out when he is with the kids so you have something to look forward to, something to distract you from feeling sad when he comes, and the happier and more relaxed and detached you seem, the better. Remember to work on feeling more relaxed and detached; it's an act at first but also how you want to feel if he is so explosive.
If your kids heard his comment about "signing them over to you," be sure to talk to the kids about it and consider how unbelievable hurtful this is to them. If he cannot control himself around them, you may have to limit his contact with them to supervised visits that can be terminated if he says anything inappropriate anymore. It sounds like he has some mental health issues, but he has no right to torment kids in this way, and sooner or later it will affect how they think and feel about him, and their relationships with others. His words were cruel. Make sure he understands that if/when you can talk calmly about it, maybe in a counseling session together.