Boredwife12

I have been married for 22 years. I don't have the feelings anymore. I love him, just not in love with him. I do care. Kids are over 18, and now I want to live a little more now. All my husband wants to do is watch tv and sleep. Yes, he works alot but come on. He is 6 years older than me. I know you can't change a person, but it this what I have to look forward to as he gets closer to retirement?? grrr

Couleur

The only person who can fix your boredom is you. If you want to be more active, take up new hobbies, make new friends then *you* should start to do those things. Chances are that your husband is a bit bored too, and it may well be that he sees your new life he will be prompted to try new things as well.

Here's something you can try today. Ask yourself "if I were to wake up today and find myself suddenly single, what would I do?" Of course, some of your answers would involve taking steps to start dating new folks. [Set those aside for the moment.] But other things you could do immediately -- change your hairstyle, go for a bike ride, rearrange the furniture in the den, paint the bedroom, get rid of all the "mom jeans" and restock closet, etc.

Ultimately, you will need to engage your husband in a conversation as well. But, you need to know what you want before you can tell him and see what his response will be.

EleGirl

Do you work outside the home?

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Boredwife12

Thanks for the advice, Couleur. Yes I do work outside the home.

costa200

Following these two sentences one should ask if you have another guy lined up. Because i find it pretty rare that simple boredom can be used to self justify a divorce otherwise.

Have you made an effort to make yourself feel less bored? Can you explain that "live a little more" part?

Emerald

Boredom in long term marriages when the children grow up is common and normal. When I got bored in mine, I blamed my husband, complained, whined, blah, blah, blah.

Then one day he said "What would you be doing if I wasn't here, ie, your husband?" He also loves TV but that doesn't stop me from doing other things.

Do you still love your husband? Is he abusive at all? Do you desire other men?

Jellybeans

Plan fun activities together. Go walking together. Try out a new restaurant together, go visit a museum. Plan a romantic weekend getaway.

Toffer

Wow.

He spends his life helping raise the family, works all day and comes home and is tired? That bastard!

Seriously, what have YOU done to make HIS life more exciting?

Jack Butler

Toffer summed it up pretty good, maybe your husband isn't the boring one. Not trying to be a jerk but us guys are only human and we get tired easier as we get older and the last thing we want to do is think after thinking all day. So don't try and get us to form a thought off the clock. Try this, try heading him off at the pass, record his favorite TV show's (to keep him away from the set) and don't let him stall (or he'll crash where he stands) and take him out to eat dinner or to a movie (not a girlie movie the first time), really anything that fits BOTH your personalities. See how he responds, most likely you'll be surprised. The next round is yours, do something you want (NEVER SHOPPING!! Thats so boring!!) see a movie you care for, etc. Alternate turns, I have friends that do this and it's amazing how well it works!!!