Alice140

Okay, so pretty much right after the birth of our daughter my husbands and I have been having major problems. I worked and supported all of us for for first year after she was born (I didn't take mat leave because he wouldn't work) I worked long hours, and all my money went towards buying him clothes, entertaining him and baby, and all the bills. I came home to disgusting messes, dirty clothes, having to make dinner for him and when he did laundry he would only do his and babys. Flash forward a bit- he wanted to return to work, I couldn't work since we only had one car and our schedules collided, so I sacrificed it. (we make about the same amount of money)

Now when I worked, I didn`t make any guff about paying for everything. But everything is a guilt trip with him. He denies me basic needs (tampons..ect) and demands me to wear makeup in public (I look the exact same with or without minus some freckles). He thinks everything is for him and I can`t handle it. In our entire marriage I have not once gotten a birthday present, and each year I throw a big dinner party for his family and friends.

Back when I was working I had given him $50 to get baby some more diapers, wipes..ect. instead he spent it on signing up for a `sex hook up` site (Since I refuse to sleep with him due to his lack of hygiene). I have told him he needs to shower, change his clothes, and brush his teeth (his teeth are rotting right out of his head) Yet he still insists to wallow in his filth.

Everyday he yells at me, telling me how he wished he hadn`t come home, and that I'm such a horrible person. He wrecks any bit of happiness I have. At one point I did tell him I wanted a divorce and it erupted into a massive fight where he got his entire family to begin harassing me, claiming I've ruined our family and our daughter will hate me, and that he would want custody. I ended up staying but it's getting to a point where I can't even look at him anymore without wanting to just run away. I am only with him because of our daughter and I am stuck with him because I cannot afford to leave.

What can I do?

bluelaser

It seems obvious from your post that you have started to hate him. First thing you will have to do is get your job back and become financially independent (try to keep your money separate in case you have to start over). After that you will be in a better position to make a rational decision on your future.

Who knows the additional money may help solve some of the issues you guys are facing. I would be worried about the 'sex hook up' though. Doesn't seem like healthy behavior when you need essentials like diapers.
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Archon

This guy gets the Douche Bag of the Day Award. If he can't even wash his ass and clean up after himself, that totally reflects his entire outlook on your marriage. He wants to keep you under control and has more power now that you aren't working. I agree, you gotta get back to work, get a car by any means and become independent of him. Then you will be in a great position to sink his battleship.
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