08-19-2012, 04:14 PM
Join Date: Aug 2012
| | Re: My husband texts other women...is it wrong? Please advise!!
Originally Posted by SoConfused0253
I started a message before but it got quite lengthy so I decided I would just give the meat and potatoes of the story!
My husband and I have been married for 4 years. He has texted other women for as long as I've known him but is very secretive about what the messages say. When I ask to see them, he says that he deleted them. He has a code on his phone that he will not reveal to me. I do look at the phone bill to see the frequency of when he is sending/receiving these messages. There had been one woman for the past 4 years which he told me he would stop texting last year. Well, he did stop texting her, he started messaging her on facebook because that doesn't show up on the phone bill. Now, there's a new woman that he is calling/texting up to 30 times a day (they call each other and text each other, it's not just one way). She's married too (actually been married longer than we have). I have never met her and I don't think I want to. She's 25 he's 37. Both of these women are women that he works with so he sees them more than he sees his family already. Also, in the past 6 months he's been coming home from work later and later.
When I've asked him to stop contacting these women, he tells me he is not going to give up his friends for me. He did know the woman he was contacting first prior to working with her but this new woman has only worked there for about a year.
I asked him to move out and he's been staying with his best friend and his best friend's family (male) for the past month or so. He originally told me he didn't know if he wanted to be married to me anymore because I won't let him talk to these other women but five days ago told me that he misses me and our home together and he wants to come home. He is going to get therapy starting tomorrow at my request because I think he has an addiction to attention or something. I realize this is not normal married man behavior.
I looked at the phone bill yesterday and his texting/calling has gotten worse since he told me he misses me. When I called him on it, he said he needs therapy and can't stop until the therapy starts working.
I'm so frustrated and confused. He got a text last night when he was here (to argue with me) and it was his friend's girlfriend who asked him to "come see her if he wasn't asleep". When I asked him to immediately text her and tell her that they were to have no more contact with each other, he did, except he said "I am not to have any direct contact with you anymore", which really says "you can text me if you want, but I can't contact you".
I guess this is still pretty wordy but that's as short as I can put it. Please tell me what to do! I really want it to work but I feel like he's using me and being very hurtful and disrespectful!
"Come see her if he wasn't asleep."
Is he having affairs with these women? Come see her for sex?