donquix

Here I am, 11 years into a relationship, 6yo kid, doubts, considerign a break-up, and last night my wife told me she got pregnant.

This about sums it up, but here's a little more info:

We started dating when I was 19, and it was a kind of vampire relationship. Left all our friends, stopped going out, etc etc etc. Initially I didn't think it would become a LTR, but it kind of drifted into it. Them the kid came and I stopped thinking "do I really want this".

That question came back, and left, and came back, and left again. Always chose to not give it much thought, because we always got along.

Then came a girl, I was interested, we had a LOT more in common (there's really just about nothing in common with my wife). She was the "logical" choice and of all the girls I've ever met I think she'd really be the best. I kinda fell in love with her, but always told myself not to let things spin out of control. Nothing happened, got back to my wife, and things were better for a while.

Now another girl comes, and before I know it I'm all over her. The first one I had time to think about it and keep my hands to myself, but this one I just couldn't help myself.

Ever since that I'm starting to think that maybe I was never really happy with my wife. Things started to make a turn. She suspected. I told her I had doubts. Since that I'm trying to decide what to do with my life. Last week I was trying to force myself to tell her I needed some time apart to think things through.

Last night I was convinced would be the night I told her that. She beat me to it. "I'm pregnant" - she says.

Damn, now what? I told her everything (except the cheating part, she just couldn't deal with that and probably slit her wrists, believe me, I know). I said I was trying to sum up the courage to tell her that I needed my space to think about our relatioship. That I didn't want to hurt her but I wasn't being honest by pretending everything was ok...

Now what? I can have the kid and be tied up, possibly cheating again in the future, never completely happy about my life or proud of myself. Or we can terminate the pregnancy, split up, and live with the decision. I have no idea what to do.

JDPreacher

Growing up would be a start...terminating the pregnancy is selfish, if you didn't want the child then you should have done something to prevent it from happening.

If you are unhappy then go, don't put your poor wife through anymore emotional drama...keep the affair to yourself and get out.

Make an exit plan that includes supporting your children and your wife...get your divorce and go be with your other woman.

It's time to man up...

Blessed Be,
Preacher

donquix

Of course we took measures to prevent the pregnancy. She's been on the pill since forever, and now somehow it failed. I don't know if the stress and emotional problems can affect that, or if she simply stopped taking it without my knowledge (I doubt it).

As for her, I really like her and care for her, but at the same time it's like something's missing. I end up trying to make it easier on her and that probably makes it worse.

I'm not considering breaking up because of another girl. If and when I do, IŽll do it to be alone, work on improving myself, and later, maybe get into another relationship. This may be what's preventing the breakup from happening sooner. Not having someone to pull me out, it's "easier" to let things roll, think it will get better, and avoid the drama.

mommydrgnfly

oh my.. great timing for me to read something like this.. but even though i am going through some screwed up crap right now.. i will be cool.. first of all.. no matter how much u don't obviously luv ur wife you should not have cheated.. should NEVER cheat! I do not understnad why people do this? You turn around.. u say we need marriage counseling.. if that don't work or u just are truelly ready.. LEAVE! ok sorry, not shouting.. i'm sorry just going through a real rough time myself here.. shes prego dude.. and i will say from experience don't tell her u cheated.. just leave please.. i do not want another prego chick to have to go through what i have.. so please let her go.