05-06-2009, 01:25 PM
Join Date: May 2009
Location: st. louis
| | is it worth it?
I am new here, and would love some feedback. My husband and I have been married almost 10yrs. Dated 6mos before I got pregnant and we got married. We now have 2 beautiful children.
The problem is his anger, and total lack of interest in any of us. He does not drink or smoke, and dont think hes ever cheated on me, nor I on him. When he is around, I get tense, waiting for the next snide comment or the next round of yelling/throwing stuff. He isnt like this 24/7 but it follows a cycle. After being insulted and hurt emotionally for so long ( I used to brush it off and move on ) I have built a wall around my heart when it comes to him. I dont want to cuddle anymore, how can a person be called names and told they are useless want to kiss or have sex with the person doing that to them.
We have had the same discussion for years about this. He blames all his behaviors on me, or anything at all other than himself. I have lost myself, my confidence, self esteem. He is always negative and unhappy. I have tried to change the things he complains about, fought for our marraige, planned dates and alone time with him. But nothing ever really changes, and he simply says he doesnt know how to change. I am 100% financially dependant on him, and he reminds me of that daily. My children love their daddy, but I cant stand to watch them sob again next time he loses his temper. I dont know what to do. I am playing along right now, trying to keep the peace, We cannnot afford counseling, nor would he be inclined to stick with anything like that. He says he loves me, he is sexually attracted to me, and pressures me to have sex with him all the time. He says he doesnt want me to leave. As long as I take the verbal blows when they come, and get over it immediately, not try to talk things over, and stay happy and all, then things are okay. But I dont want to play this way anymore. I dont know how to make him understand that it is getting harder and harder to love him and want to work on our marriage. I just dont know what to do anymore.
Thanks for listening!!!!!