But I'm not sure if I'm ready or should take the final step in getting a divorce. I love having this woman around. She's the mother of my child. And even though we argue and put each other down (saying such things like "you're stupid" or "only an idiot would do that") here and there, I still love her and want her to be apart of my life. I understand that she is trying to kick me out but she didn't say anything about a divorce. She just said we are still married but just separated.
You are in a tough spot, as is everyone who comes to this board not knowing whether to fight for their marriage after the other spouse says they want out, or to just hang tight and see what plays out and roll with it.
So she says that you are just separated? Really? Did she file for legal separation? Did you have a say in this, or did she just tell you that's how it was going to be and you went along with it?
Most folks here will tell you to search the forum for the 180 and apply it, starting today. Right now, you have allowed your wife to remain in a position of power, where she tells you what the status of your marriage is, she tells you whether you need to leave your home and your child, and she really does expect you to just do what she says. Are you kidding me? You need to STOP letting her run the show and dictate every nuance of your relationship.
You may not be ready to throw in the towel, but you need to start detaching and preparing for the worst-case scenario, which could include divorce, whether you like it or not. Since coming to this board, I've become a huge fan of folks putting their money where their mouth is. If she isn't committed to your marriage -- and wants to straddle the fence by calling it a separation while moving on with her life, but, hey, she'll keep you as a backup plan in the meantime -- then you don't have a marriage. You have a wife who wants things both ways -- she wants her freedom but she wants you hanging on the sidelines waiting for her to tell you, "Okay, that didn't work out, so I'll take you back now." If this was an agreed-upon separation, where you guys were taking a break to work through some things, my opinion would be totally different.
I say quit playing this silly game she wants you to engage in, focused on the moving out part. I say march your rear end to the courthouse, file for divorce, have her served, and then see how things shake out. Refuse to be her Plan B; refuse to sit around waiting for her to decide if you and your marriage are good enough options for her to commit. If she wants out, open the door for her.
*I just got an e-mail with another reply posted, and I agree wholeheartedly with that poster. You don't sound like you've been the best husband, and it very well may have cost you your marriage. If that happens, maybe you got what you had coming. You simply can't be a $hitty husband and expect your wife not to walk when she gets fed up with it and nothing ever changing. From the "we" qualification, though, it sounds like your wife has engaged in this type of behavior, as well. Maybe you guys just aren't compatible and this can't work.
Having said that, though, I'm a big fan of adults acting like adults. I still believe before things getting this far, she should have come to you and said, "Look, dude, here' s the deal. I've had enough of you disrespecting me and I can't do this anymore. We need to either sit down and work out details amicably, or I'm filing for divorce." It's the whole limbo thing that I have issues with because it's playing a game that serves no purpose.