Originally Posted by stilllookingup View Post
Before considering children... if she's 100+ lbs overweight, isn't her health itself in danger? Have you sat down with her and talk about her issue?
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thank you for your reply. It's nice to have concerned folks.
I don't have room to talk, except I have been exercising for 3 years and weight lifting to affect a body composition change. In other words, I need to lose some fat as well but am up and moving regularly. She does go to the doc regularly and so far her blood, pressure and lipids come back ok. It amazes me, honestly. I'm 9" taller and 25 lbs more, to give you an idea.
In short, yes, she knows I care about her health and she knows its not good for her. It's not rational behavior.
Originally Posted by SlowlyGettingWiser View Post
You can't be hypocritical about it: you're against divorce (except when YOU'RE unhappy). [...] Decide WHAT EXACTLY you stand for; and what you don't.
I have to ask, were ALL (or MOST) of these things TRUE ABOUT HER back when she was your girlfriend and you were a self-admitted sucky-boyfriend. Was she BETTER then than she is now, or has she just always been this negative and you were such a mess you didn't notice or didn't care?
darn you for making me admit this.
I used the Quotes on "against" precisely to make the point, as you note, of course we are all against it. After 17 years, I tend to believe, I've stuck it out longer than most would've. On the other hand, my patience is more limited than I had hoped.
As far as when we first met, the dynamic was vastly different.
I have to keep editting this because it gets too long.
If I play self counseler, I'll say she regrets letting me treat her like I did back then on one hand. On the other hand, she does not feel worthy of the life she has now.
She's perfect as a friend when you are bummed out. I fell in love with her when I was not happy. She just never turned the corner with me.
I left out that she is sick so often. She does work in a pediatrician office. But along with bad chest colds 4 to 5 times a year, she also has, rosacia, reflux, and now ibs, apparently. She's been taking prenatal vitamins for 6 years. Just thought I'd theow that in there.
Her mother and father are hard workers.
Now, if you take my marriage one day at a time. I'd say, we get along as long as I avoid expressing myself regarding her lack of ambition etc. We laugh often togther. We have similr beliefs and values, notwithstanding the obvious. I tuck her in every night. Every morning, she kisses me good bye, as I get to sleep in an extra hour. I can't imagine not having her in my life.
I'll cut myself off there
thank you very much for reading and responding.
She was a 135 ish when we met. Size 9, 5' 6".
She lived at home and was a B student with some A's. Taking some college prep level courses, but struggling in geometry. So, no genius, but not a major slacker. Young and shy. Very pretty and reserved and innocent. Ever since I've known her, being a mother was a high priority. Over time her skin got thicker and then she learned to fight back. At least with me. She still won't express herself to much with others.