I'm pregnant and my husband treats me like crap

mommyof2 · 01-14-2008, 12:03 AM

one child already that's seven and one of the way I'm due in April. I been with my husband now for over two years. I can't take it anymore I'm at my wits end with everything that's been taking place. He sits and plays games all the time day and night. He won't help me do anything around the house no dishes laundry clean up nothing. When he gets home from work it's the first thing he does is get on the computer, it's the first thing he does when he gets up. We talk here and there but it's no fun having to talk to someone when they are busy with a game or watching wrestling. We got married almost two months ago and I have had some problems with this pregnancy being sick all the time and a lot of swelling. He is in the military and we were supposed to go over to the base so I can get my Id card and do the Tri care stuff. I'm still waiting I'm getting to far along to be screwing around. I been going to the health dept for visits in the meantime when I found out I was pregnant. We never make it over to the base on his days off he will stay up all night long and want to sleep all day. If I wake him up I swear I'll hear about it for hours and he is useless at that point because he is so tired he can't think or really function and he just sits there and does not move. I been thinking about leaving him sense Thanksgiving I was cooking and cleaning and he was upstairs playing games and on porn. He came down twice the whole day to get something to eat and that was it other than that I sat downstairs by myself the whole time. For months that all he did was sit up in our bedroom day in and day out and play games. I sat down here day after day night after night alone. Then he got a dog I was like great. I knew he would not take care of the dog and he never wants to take it out the dog chases my cat and jumps all over me. I don't like that because I'm pregnant I don't want a 60 pound dog running over my belly when I'm trying to sleep. So I stopped sleeping upstairs months ago and started sleeping on the floor. Because he refused to lock up his dog so it would stop jumping all over the place. The dog is constantly ruining me and my daughters things it chews everything it will go to the bathroom on everything. I take it out but when he is home he won't and will there you go. He will wear the same clothes for weeks before washing them. He won't shower on his days off and I'm not even sure he uses soap when he does shower for work. He does not own a toothbrush so he does not brush his teeth. All he wants to do is sleep eat and play games. He won't take out the trash me and my daughter do. I have ask him over and over to change the cat box it would be days until he would so being pregnant I have to do it anyway. I just can't take it anymore. I have tried to talk to him about it he gets really angry and starts yelling and says it's my fault and basically he does nothing wrong and everything is my fault. I talked to some family and they have seen all this first hand and they support me if I want to leave. I do want to leave I have tried everything and feel there is no help to this situation. I can't live like this with a dirty person who won't do anything it's driving me crazy. We don't have sex at all if I touch him he will say what are you doing get off me or push me off and so forth. That really bothers me he does that all the time. It's like were married but yet I'm not allowed to touch you or do anything with you. So I give up does anyone have any advice on what I should do and why he might be like this any opinions would be great thanks for reading.

draconis · 01-14-2008, 09:28 AM

Wow a lot to take in.

He is lazy and self serving.

Why are you still with this guy?

Why did you get with him to begin with?

draconis

oceanbreeze · 01-14-2008, 01:37 PM

perhaps bipolar? research any symptoms and personal experiences about people living with people who are diagnosed bipolar.

simplyme43920 · 01-14-2008, 04:54 PM

I agree with oceanbreeze, if you are not ready for a devorce i would try to find out if there is an illness and seek help for yourself and for him. if he isnt willing to get diagnosed i would say get out now before you spent your life on him.

mommyof2 · 01-15-2008, 07:06 AM

To answer your question he was not like this when I met him it was after moving in together and getting married where things did a 360. The only thing I can think of is he didn't let me see the real side of him until later on. The last 4 months things got even worse than it ever was before. But I can't honestly say if this is what would be causing it or the fact of his serious weight gain from being addicted to games and not wanting to do anything but his games.

bipolar sounds about right from what I have read online and stories of others who has someone at home with it. Some people go through a freak show all the time their words not mine. If I bring it up and ask him to go see a doctor to find out what's wrong I'm not going to get anywhere. I know already he will refuse but I can at least try. A lady I read about said she kept logs on her husbands behavior then approached him and after he calmed down she got him to sit and talk with her and was showing him his behavior and changes that has been going on with him. Sense he has been on medication it's made a big difference.

I have read online others who live with someone addicted to games it can consume their entire life. They have no desire to do anything but the game they are playing. That sounds more like him from being on it day in and day out. Eating at his computer to staying up for hours to sleeping for hours it's like they lose touch with reality. Unfortunately some people stay and stick it out hoping the person will change and sometimes they do. But I don't want to be one of the girls who's been with someone for years and that's all they do.

But if it is bipolar once I leave because I am leaving him I have done made up my mind about that he might start seeing what's going on with him that he seems to be in this big denial over. I have done been pushed as far and I'm going to go. This is to much stress and I don't have the want or energy right now to slave after a person. That's what I pretty much do here if I don't do it nothing gets done. The further along I get the more aggravated I become. Thanks to all for your comments but I learned along time ago you can't help a person if they aren't willing to help themselves.

kajira · 01-16-2008, 04:41 PM

First and foremost you need to protect yourself, daughter and unborn child. From the sounds of things your health, mental health and example your showing your daughter is not good. Perhpas, leaving will be a wake up call for him. As far as the military goes, I think if you take your marriage license you can go to the base without him. There should be someone you can call and find out. You must have doctor's care it is vital. Furthermore, there are other millitary benefits you may be missing out on. Do not let him bring you down. Pull yourself up and take care of what needs to be taken care of. You have the support of your family, which many do not. Take a moment and look at the big picture....we are here if you need us.

Thorian · 06-17-2008, 01:14 PM

Being Military you can call his First Sargent if enlisted. And They will make him man up. If he is an officer Call his CO. The biggest problem you will have is that if you use the system to make him do the right thing it can cause other problems. Being a military dependant you and your children are entitled to certain benefits.

faeluna · 06-17-2008, 03:11 PM

OMG!! is this dude on Meth or something? I don't know sweetie..do you really want someone who behaves this way around your children? Was he like this before you married him? Thorian brought up a very good point there..Get ahold of whomever is over this dude and take care of yourself. He may be bipolar who knows. But by what your saying I wonder how long your going to beable to survive this. A good friend of mine told me once that you can love someone with all of your heart but still not beable to stay with them. It's not a crime to leave if you have to. I hope your alright and can take of yourself.

rhondaxe · 07-11-2008, 09:28 PM

So is it World of Warcraft or some other MMO game?