Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: On the cusp of something great!
Re: so hurt
It is tough, Taintedspirit, but YOU WILL survive this! You must! You need to do it for YOU and for your children.
Being a Christian does NOT mean you have to put up with abuse. And make no mistake about it, you ARE being emotionally abused. Your H cheats, doesn't care, and has NO INTENTION of stopping.
You're right *THIS* is NOT teaching your children what a loving, Christian home and marriage looks like. This is NOT teaching your children how adults, how Christians, how married people TREAT each other. YOUR JOB is to teach them better!
1.) Cry it out if you must, then pull up your big-girl panties! You're a mom, a competent woman and an adult who does NOT allow ANYONE to cr*p all over HER, her marriage, her children, her life.
2.) STOP sleeping with him IMMEDIATELY. HE just had his LAST SEX with you FOREVER. Hope he enjoyed it because NOW, it should be JUST A MEMORY.
3.) THIS WEEK get yourself tested for STDs. No excuses! Your children NEED YOU to be healthy for them! You can't care for them if you're NOT caring for yourself.
4.) This week HIRE an attorney. If you cannot AFFORD an attorney, then call the local abused women's shelter and tell them you are 8 months pregnant, being cheated on by your husband repeatedly, concerned about YOUR health and the health of you unborn baby, and HOW CAN THEY HELP YOU and both of your children.
5.) If you cannot legally get your H out of the house or get to another shelter for yourself, then put a LOCK on the bedroom door and SLEEP LOCKED IN THERE without your H. He can sleep on the couch, or the floor, or the garage, or the basement, or the home of some cheap-azz floozy he's been screwing. Honestly, who cares WHERE he sleeps!
6.) Talk to YOUR family and see what kind of support THEY can offer you and the kids.
7.) Ask the women's shelter for a referral to a CHRISTIAN counselor if you feel you're on shaky spiritual ground by ending your marriage. If you're okay with it and feel that God will understand and approve of you looking out for yourself and your babies, then skip this step.
8.) Keep coming to TAM to talk, vent, cry, yell, celebrate, ask for advice, get the support YOU NEED from people who have BEEN in your shoes and can advise and console you.
We HONESTLY care about you and the kids, Taintedspirit, so hang tough and keep your eyes on the prize: A safe, loving, warm, honest, CHRISTIAN home to raise your little ones in and to feel safe and loved yourself!