01-27-2013, 03:45 AM
Join Date: Jan 2013
| | Re: I opened up and am paying the price.
Well. Hmmmm where to start? You are not paying the price for the fact that you opened up, you are paying the price for the words that came out of your mouth which caused the meaning she took to her heart. Clearly, you hurt her.
You two have been together a very long time and so the relationship has settled ... Into a pattern of complacency, routine and predictability. Sex is infrequent, connection is less energetic, the effort either one of you, or perhaps both of you put into the relationship has taken a back seat to jobs, home, finances, family... Does this sound like your relationship?
I am assuming you are living together right?
What you might have mentioned to your maybe possibly soon to be wife or ex girl friend, is that your relationship needs some oomph. You two need to reconnect and restore the passion for each other. If she had butted in and said she does feel passion for you, that would be your cue to bring up sex frequency or lack thereof.
But you started off with the ending, never a good way to go about it, lad.
Ask for a mulligan on that conversation. Only this time you need to go into it with the mission of working together to make it better. It sounds to her like you gave her the break up talk and expected her to agree with
I'm sure you know that marriage is not smooth sailing all the way through? It's wonderful and can give you the strength to get through anything, but it can also be terrible making you feel as if you'll never be happy again. Which way it feels depends a LOT on how well you two resolve conflicts. We generally aren't born with the innate ability, so we have to learn how to do that and doing that is really hard when your whole world is wrapped up into the outcome of that conflict. Luckily, the person your learning with loves you and is apt to forgive you. She has just as much learning to do as you.
Oh my... The fights Mr Pink and I had all those years ago... Good times, good times.
Welcome to life!