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Considering Divorce or Separation If you're considering divorce or separation, this is the place to talk.

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Old 03-12-2008, 11:16 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Default Re: My wife left me help

It all sounds fishy to me but more important how do you feel about it?

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Old 03-26-2008, 10:56 AM   #17 (permalink)
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Default Re: My wife left me help

It seems like the attention she was seeking from you, she has found from this dentist. Hopefully a good counselor and some strength from you can show her and convince her that the attention she is seeking from him can come from you.

I am going through a similar situation in which my wife didn't communicate with me that so many things were wrong until it broke our relationship with an emotional affair that she is having with a coworker. Now she is not sure that she wants to give me a chance to give her what she is seeking. I just found out a couple days ago that she was in the affair so I don't know what will happen. All I know is that I must change, be strong, and pray that she will allow herself to see that I can provide for her what she is seeking. Good luck to you.
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Old 03-26-2008, 09:03 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Default Re: Going thru a seperation

My wife has asked me for a seperation after 9 rocky years of marriage. We got married very young, she was 18 and I was 23.
Over the last year she stated feeling numb towards our relationship, but she stated she still loves me. I asked her if this is the end and she told me she's not sure. She stated she needed space to reflect on our marriage from the outside. I agreed to give her the space and moved in with my sister. She said she is unsure of where she is as a person, that on one hand she needs to move forward to rediscover herself, but that she also worries she might regret seperating with me. I've gone thru a maturity throught out the last year, understanding what I have done wrong and how to treat her. She said she recognized the changes over the last several weeks, but she still needs time to heal and then see if she's willing to try, but she won't give me an answer. Out of respect i'll honor that. The problem i'm dealing with is my efforts did not come because she wanted to seperate, we just seperated on Saturday. The problem is my health, I have alot of anxiety, I get the shakes real bad, I have trouble eating, I breakdown constantly. She said she is very afraid of how my health is declining, but I don't know how to fix it. When I sleep it's more like a half conscience daze. I am scared for my health, as well as the prospect of loosing her which I can't really face. I don't feel suicidal at all, but I do feel alot of hopelessness. Any advice?
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Old 05-19-2008, 12:29 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Hello every one and thanks for all that responded to this post. Just an update to everything that has been going on! My wife has move some of her thing back in the house with me and has been staying here with me for a little over a month now. The problem is we are now having big trust issues with each other, hers with me is when we were apart I was text messaging two women that we both new never meaning anything except talking and one of the women I would see out and talk to her when I was out with my friends. Again this happened when we were apart! Mine with her is the dentist that she worked for and still talks to every now and then do to her new job which she knows I do not like him at all. She found out I was able to get info on her work cell phone to see who she was talking to, she put a block on that she went to version and told them I was looking at the phone records. Now the new thing is her and I went to ocean city Maryland with her brother and his wife this past weekend, we took are car and her brother took his. Friday night I lost my wallet, on Saturday morning I told my wife I was going to back track again to see if I could find it before breakfast to pick me up on the way. When she got to where I was I jumped in the back of the car behind her, her brother was in the front and his wife was behind him. I was sitting there and for some reason I stuck my hand down in the pouch of she seat because I never noticed the pouch before that. I just never noticed the pouch before that day, I found a rubber in there and I no I did not put it there nor do I need one for the fact I had been cut for two years. She said it must have been there because she did not put it there; the package looked like it just came out of the box and did not look old at all. Is she telling me the truth or is it a lie? I am getting to the point that I donít even care anymore, she does not want to be around some of are friends anymore because they took my side when she left the home. These people are my friends and I donít think I should be put in this predicament where I need to forget them to make her happy, these people are her friends and still want to be friends. If she would have handled this different we would not be in this mess. In stead of leaving we should have went to marriage counseling like she suggested to me. When she suggested it I told her I would go that I agreed with her, a month after she suggested it she decided to leave instead. Now we have all the back issues along with all the new ones. This is the hardest thing I have ever gone through, it even put me in the hospital for 4 days. I told my doctor I was having some chest pains and she had me go do a stressed test and it came back positive on a Friday afternoon, at that point I could not leave the hospital because they wanted to do a heart catheter to check my heart and was going to be Monday morning. Thank god that came back negative. I do not no what to do at this point! and
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Old 05-19-2008, 03:57 PM   #20 (permalink)
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Default Re: My wife left me help

Do you think she may be withholding some details from you in fear of how you might react? If it were me, I would have a calm talk and tell her that you are having trust issues and it's in the way of the two of you making progress and causing you stress. I would only do that if I were also ready to hear the whole truth, without going off the deep end. Maybe it's time to think of the worst she might have done and decide whether that would be a deal breaker for you? If not, see if you can get what you need to move forward towards rebuilding trust. If you feel the need to talk to friends, etc. about what's going on it will understandably make her uncomfortable around them. It will also not help in bringing you closer to her. Only you can decide what to do as far as your marriage and rebuilding trust can happen, but she has to be open with you and you have to be willing to make her feel safe doing so.
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Old 07-11-2008, 03:31 PM   #21 (permalink)
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Default Re: My wife left me help

Hello everyone just a little up date, my wife has fully move back home and not sure if it was the right move. At times things are good and other times it seems like we both donít even no one another. At time she can be nice and other times nasty, Iím starting to think that I might want out now. I can not imagine living the rest of my life this way. We sat down the other day and started to talk about everything and she started to get loud with me when I was only talking to her. I asked her if she really wanted to be here with me and if she really loved me. She said she did love me but did not care anymore about anything and is accepting the way things are. Iím having a hard time accepting things this way Iím the one trying and she is just there. Iím going to try to sit down one more time and talk to her, if I canít get anywhere then I might ask she to move back out. Man I do not no what to do!
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Old 07-30-2008, 10:13 AM   #22 (permalink)
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Well we sat down and talked last night and she told me that she does not feel that this marriage will ever work that she thinks that she is going to go back to her mothers. What a smack in the face again. I said to her that I tried to do everything to make this work and you did nothing and she agreed with me and said she just does not feel it anymore. I also asked why did she come back if she felt that way and she said she thought she did not want me to find someone else or just move on. I guess I need to face everything and start trying to get over her and all the hurt. I am just lost again and do not no where to start.
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Old 07-30-2008, 10:33 AM   #23 (permalink)
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Default Re: My wife left me help

Well from your words this situation with your wife has caused health problems so what is more importtant to you now your health or loving someone that doesnt want to be with you?
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Old 12-29-2009, 05:48 PM   #24 (permalink)
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Default Re: My wife left me help

Helo all,

I know you kep reading the same thing over and over again, but please forgive me for bringing the subject again... It is not the lack of trying everything that has been suggested in this post on the contrary I keep tryingbut she still does not want me back... She said she still love me and she misses me but every attempt that I have made to get her back have failed... I only spoke to her through skype yesterday and she told me that her brother was bitting her up for having come back to the family house, so I suggested that I come to her but she refuses all the time! I don't know what to do because I love her so much I just can't be without her! I am going around mad thinking it is all my fault but I can't find what I have done wrong... Can anyone tell me something, even if you think I am a dumb **** anything to make me forget! The worst thing is that we have only been married 6 month after 2 years of knowing each other... I am sorry everyone but I am so F'in lonely this my new year without the person that I love the most in my life... Thanks in advance for any words of wisdom...

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Old 01-07-2010, 07:48 AM   #25 (permalink)
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Default Re: My wife left me help

Can't hack it,

Why did she leave?
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