I don't want to be married to him any more
 Talk About Marriage
  The Marriage Advice and Relationship Help Forums
Forums - For Therapists - Link to Us - Advertise  

    A Public Forum Provided by The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory
Register FAQ Community Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Talk About Divorce and Separation »Considering Divorce or Separation » I don't want to be married to him any more

Considering Divorce or Separation If you're considering divorce or separation, this is the place to talk.

LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 02-13-2013, 03:38 AM   #1 (permalink)
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 1,030
Default I don't want to be married to him any more

We just had a fight. I just don't want to do this any more. I don't even want to try. I've been forcing myself to try, but I can't even imagine liking him ever again at this point. I want to quit. He's the most selfish, self-absorbed person on the planet. This morning, he fed our 7 year old moldy yogurt. I can't even trust him with the most basic parenting and child care tasks. That's not even what our fight was about though.

Ugh. I'm counting down the days until the separation. Then I guess after that, I'll hope for a miracle.
northernlights is online now   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Sponsored Links
Old 02-13-2013, 03:54 AM   #2 (permalink)
Dollystanford's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 3,160
Default Re: I don't want to be married to him any more

do you have a specific date in mind for separation - why are you counting down the days?
Learn how to talk proper, know what I mean?

Originally Posted by WorkingOnMe View Post
Dolly is all of the women actually.
Dollystanford is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 02-13-2013, 03:55 AM   #3 (permalink)
Forum Supporter
EleGirl's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 21,450
Default Re: I don't want to be married to him any more

How moldy was the yogurt? Was he just not paying attention? Who noticed the mold?

When is the separation going to happen? Why do you have to wait?
Surviving An Affair - What Are Plan A and Plan B? 180 for Betrayed Spouses

To Create A Passionate Marriage - Five Steps to Romantic Love His Needs, Her Needs Love Busters
EleGirl is online now   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 02-13-2013, 06:28 AM   #4 (permalink)
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 1,030
Default Re: I don't want to be married to him any more

Yeah, there's a specific date. Back when I was operating under the theory that if I backed off of some things, he would naturally step up, I trusted what he said about my visa. He was wrong, and I have to leave the country. It makes for an easy separation, because he has to stay behind for a few more months. I'm just waiting until our house in the US is empty so I can move back into it (we have renters there now).

He saw the mold and decided to feed it to her anyway. I didn't know about it until after she'd eaten and I saw the moldy container in the sink. Like, really? Who looks at moldy yogurt and figures, well, there's only SOME mold, I'll give it to my little girl anyway? When I told him it wasn't a good idea to feed her that, he was like, whatever, she'll be fine. Couldn't he at least show some concern? Like say, "oh crap, I thought it'd be ok. I hope she doesn't get sick."

That's not what we fought about, though if I wasn't irritated about the yogurt, I'm sure the fight wouldn't have happened. The fight was about the car situation, which is a really long story. Basically though, it's his mom's car, we don't own one here in this country. We didn't buy one because she said we should just use her's, she rarely uses it. But they both gave me this passive-aggressive resistance to me using it, which made me really uncomfortable. Like, if I said, do you mind if I use the car for such and such, they'd say, "well sometime you could practice on it, i'll just drive you today." (practice because it's a standard and I haven't driven one in a few years). Finally I told H I was feeling like neither one of them actually wanted me driving it, and was I imagining that. H said I was, I said fine, well, let's get out and take it for a spin. And he went right back to saying, yeah, you can practice sometime... this went on, finally he went and got himself a license translation (he didn't tell me this was required to drive!), and didn't get me one. Didn't even tell me he was going... anyway, he finally admitted that yeah, he didn't want me to drive, and he was finding reasons I shouldn't and generally being passive aggressive about the whole thing. I asked him why, especially since I already feel so restricted here. Having to depend on him and his mother to drive me places makes it so much worse. He said he didn't know.

Anyway, so this morning he said "do you want me to take you to pick up moldy-yogurt-fed daughter from school," and I said, "you know, I've told you that I really resent the way you hold the car over me like that, please just either pick her up or don't, but don't ask me if I want you to drive me around. I can't handle that." Which I know is over the top of me, but I'm under so much stress, and I just want to pretend the car doesn't even exist. So, we started fighting about that. He said he thought I didn't want to drive, and that's why he was so passive-aggressive about it. ??? I told him I was very clear that being able to get around independently was a big deal to me, so he either willfully ignored what I was said, repeatedly, to him over the summer and fall, or he's lying now.

Blech, I know I should have walked away. There was nothing he could have said that was going to make me feel better about the situation. It's a sore spot with me. :-(
northernlights is online now   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Sponsored Links

Quick Reply

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.
User Name:
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:


Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
I'm married but going through a separation and she wants to stay married juce88 Considering Divorce or Separation 5 08-14-2013 08:42 PM
If you are married to a man who cheats on his wife, you'll be married to a man who... Remains Coping with Infidelity 11 03-13-2013 01:46 PM
To All Married Couples and Singles Who Intend To Get Married Chris H. General Relationship Discussion 5 11-16-2009 01:35 AM
young and happily married married but.... pinkprincess General Relationship Discussion 5 11-17-2008 04:43 PM

Member Area

Find a Therapist:

Sponsored Ads

Sponsored Ads

Get The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory Help Guide via Email:

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 06:47 PM.

Copyright 2007 - 2013 © Talk About Marriage

SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2 ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.