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Considering Divorce or Separation If you're considering divorce or separation, this is the place to talk.

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Old 07-24-2009, 03:50 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Who should leave

Hi all. Heartsick guy here. Looks like a 14 yrs marriage about to be over. 3 young kids involved. I have a big decision to make. Wife caught cheating recently. Her defense was to take offense and demands divorce. NOt the first time that's occured. I believe her this time just as in i believe im not going to fight for the marriage this time.

I'm trying to transition my thinking to what's best for everyone. She keeps threatening to leave with the kids. I could let her do that, but i think its harder on the kids. I could leave and then they could stay in house which makes it easier on the kids. But it also makes it easier on wife which i dont much like the idea of.
Id luv to hear from any guys\gals who have an opinion. Im really torn on it.
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Old 07-24-2009, 03:59 PM   #2 (permalink)
GPR
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Default Re: Who should leave

If you left, where would you go?

If she left, where would she go?

Do you think she should get the kids? Why?
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Old 07-24-2009, 06:18 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Who should leave

Go talk to a lawyer...she can't just take your kids... they are your kids too. Do you live in a no-fault state? I live in Kansas and it doesn't matter who did what here, but some places they take into consideration who did what as far as cheating. If you file, they can probably do temp orders which could make her move out and decide who the kids stay with during that time. Do your best to protect your kids and don't try to start drama just to spite her, but she shouldn't just be able to do what she did and then threaten you with your kids.
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Old 09-21-2011, 12:40 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Who should leave

Talk to a lawyer, file for divorce before she does, grounds of adultery. Don't allow her to get anything. She does not deserve it. However, I would recommend that you look for a place and leave her with the children. Do what is in the best interest of the children. If she is a good mother, let her keep the children. Whatever happened between you two should never spill over to the children.

While you guys are working that out, make sure to sit down and make a parenting plan. Visitation, child support, and more importantly how you will interact with each other, and who's duty will be to do what, in order to ensure the children are not anymore negatively impacted by the adults decisions.
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