Hello everyone. This is my first post, I came across this forum tonight while doing some online research.
I need advice from people going through the same thing that I am, or similar and this seems like a good place to start.
Hopefully this doesn't turn into a vent, but in either to get advice, my situation should be known
I've been married to my husband 8 years this June, together 9. Unhappy for most of it. I have 3 beautiful children, one that I share with him.
I've been a stay at home mom the entire time. He's a workaholic/video game addict. Works long hours and then comes straight home to get in front of his computer with his head phones until he goes to bed, even on weekends. He spends no time with me or the children, no connection whatsoever, no communication, he and I have no sex life. If I want to talk to him, I have to basically e-mail him. I've even had to go as far as sending him instant messages from the same home or texting him to get his attention. It's literally that bad. I've tried multiple times to talk to him, to agree to take some time, even a few hours a week to spend some time with the family and he doesn't, his addiction is that bad.
I am a very outgoing woman. I love the outdoors, playing with my kids, just goofing off and having fun. He is the complete opposite, very serious. He does not play or spend any time with the kids, has never taken them anywhere. I have boys that want to do boy things and I am the one that takes them camping and fishing or rely on my brother to be the male figure in their life. The kids won't even go to my husband anymore if they need anything, they come straight to me. If they try to get his attention away from his games or work, he will yell at them. My children are even starting to hint that they wish it was just them and me, especially my oldest.
I've stayed because of them though. The roof over their heads and the stability.
I'm just no longer in love with him and want to start my own life with my kids.
I consider myself to be an attractive woman, I take excellent care of myself/body, I'm a young looking 33 year old with a ton of energy. I have tried to sex myself up for him, pull him away from the games, rekindle something, most of the time he doesn't even notice. He is not the type to give compliments or notice and I think it's made me bitter. I've been 100% faithful to him though, I'm not a cheater, although I really miss the attention.
The house is always spotless and I have dinner waiting on the table each night when he gets home, although he takes it straight to the computer.
I do still think he is a decent man though, he may not give us attention, but he is not a cruel person persay. He and I have maybe only have one real fight in the 9 years of being together, but what's there to fight about if you don't talk to the person, right?
I'm not perfect either though, I sometimes try to start fights with him, just to start something. Have a better excuse to go, I guess. But, at this point if he were to suddenly change, it wouldn't change my mind. I know that I will never have the same feelings I once had.
I'm just emotionally done. I can't imagine living like this for another 8 years and I don't want to.
I don't even know where to begin though. Should I ask for a separation until I can find a job and get on my own?