Re: How do you know it is time to give up?
When I left my first husband, I was scared. I was 25, my parents were both deceased, and I felt I had no where to go. But living with my husband was killing me. I was emotionally drained, he never came home anymore and I decided this was not how I wanted to live my life. I had a dog and 2 cats.. and didn't know where to turn. I didn't make a ton of money and couldn't afford to stay in the house.... but I knew I couldn't keep living in pain like I was. (I won't go into all the details of why I left, but it wasn't physical abuse or anything). I was scared to be alone.
I was able to stay with my aunt and uncle in a spare room (well, they made a spare room just for me). I moved out... And I cried and cried and cried in that spare room for weeks... but the whole time i was meeting with a lawyer, finding a better paying job, etc.
I became strong and I felt free... I soon got an apartment and enjoyed being on my own, even though I was lonely - I was able to find things to do, and people to spend time with.
You may think that being alone, living by yourself, etc. is painful, but you CAN make it - and you WILL find happiness if you are in pain now. You will. WHO THE HELL ever said that men complete us and give us a purpose in life? No one.
I am giving you all this advice while I struggle to come to the same decision with husband number 2. I am very unhappily married (for the second time) and separated and struggling to know it I am ready to walk away - and I know I need to take my own advice, because I know that eventually I will be better off emotionally. But it IS hard. I hope that I can take my own advice and get over the fear of the pain of loneliness. I'm sure I will get there - especially with the help of this forum.
Divorce is never easy... but neither is living this way...