So many problems, but we'll start with the latest. My wife was a bridesmaid at a wedding a couple of months back. She went the day before the wedding to go to the rehearsal dinner and stay at a hotel with another bridesmaid. At this rehearsal, she met the guy who she would be walking down the aisle with. At the wedding I didn't get the chance to meet him or his pregnant wife. My wife usually has something nice to say to a woman that's pregnant, but she didn't bother to meet this guy's wife either. When he was leaving he came to say goodbye to my wife, I happened to be coming back from the barthroom at the time. When he saw me approaching, he quickly explained that He just wanted to say goodbye - as if I was her bodyguard and my permission was needed to proceed - I thought this was a little weird and mentioned it to my wife after, which she just brushed off (she thinks I'm really jealous, but I think she tells me that for her own benefit).
SO, this guy is one of the bride's facebook friends, and wouldn't you know my wife contacts him the day after the wedding, asking about his wife and whether she had the baby or not - I think she was past due or something (fine, no harm there on the face of it), but I did think it was a little weird of her trying to befriend some guy she doesn't even know, and she initiated the whole thing - also she didn't care to meet his wife at the wedding, but now she's concerned. This was sort of the last straw for me as far her keeping way too many secrets and befriending guys when she knows very well what they're going to think.
I pushed her to marriage counseling - we had one session. Instead of building on the advice of developing some trust between us, she caused a huge diversion and faked a nervous breakdown and threats of suicide instead of dealing with her issues of not respecting boundaries in our marriage and her secrecy. As for me I decided to stop checking up on her for about 1.5 months, and follow the advice of the counselor - basically, if shes going to do something she's not supposed to do, then so be it and let her face the consequences (For our entire relationship I've been one the nip things in the bud before she does something stupid where there's no going back). I started suspecting her again and let my impulses take over and checked her facebook last week - only to find she was secretly contacting this guy yet again and purposely initiated some sort of personal friendship with him - back and forth emails, 'how are you', 'what are you doing this weekend', 'I'm doing this', 'I'm doing that', etc. - then it developed into her saying "I noticed you travel alot, do you ever make it our my way'. My Wife of 7 years is actually coming on to this guy, this married guy! - trying to initiate some sort of way for them to meet up, etc. My wife is a beautiful woman, and any guy will take a good looking girl showing interest in him like that with enthusiasm and show interest back, its human nature, and she's purposely doing it (the messed up part is that she was acting really nice to me during this time, no problems at all). There's really no room for misinterpretation in my opinion. Then there was talk of her bride friend throwing a party and she makes sure to let him know when its happening so they can meet there. She didn't mention any party to me - I wonder why??? After this latest incident, I'm ready to leave - she just does this stuff over and over again and I've always been the sucker who just lets it boil over and go back to normalcy. In closing, I think my wife has some sever emotional issues on top of all this!
1. She's very jealous of me to the point where I don't make waves just for peace. No female friends, I barely go out, I barely socialize, no facebook, etc. She gets to do anything she wants - stuff that would cause major problems if I did the same.
2. She's very insecure about herself, she obsesses about her appearance, believes she's overweight (she's petite and weighs under 100!), she desparately wants a tummy tuck, etc.
3. She has anxiety problems (the only issue she'll admit to)
4. I think she has a form of "Delusional Disorder" mixed type, both A. Persecutory (where she has these episodes and thinks people are out to get her, don't like her, or conspiring against her, ESPECIALLY My Sisters, who are always nice to her, yet, when something triggers it, she'll literally take anything one of them would say and take it as jab, etc. The she'll ***** to me about it and to her friends, who pretty much believe her delusions - she can really paint a good picture, and its mostly unture or highly exaggerated. B. Jealous type: Convinced I'm the one up to something, that I'm the sneak, that I'm the one who's not into the marriage, that women are trying to take me away from her. (Which is ironic, seeing now that she's coming on to a married man on facebook!).
So there you go, I'm completely stressed and she has major issues - which I was more than willing to try to get her some help with. But now, attempting to cheat on me just crossed the line.
I'm contacting a lawyer this week to get this divorce rolling - I see no other choice. What can I do? any opinions?